Never Should Have
by Twilightholic-Tanya
Summary: When Edward meets a girl at the park he seems to grow attached to her, despite all his rules. They share a kiss he never forgets and he says goodbye to her for what he thought was forever, but forever is shorter than he thought.
1. Goodbyes

Whoa tons of homework this weekend

**Whoa tons of homework this weekend. But it's over and done with. This is something that just popped into my head while I was listening to music. I hope you like it. it's in Edward point of view. For my Fans on Always Here I will make that in Edward's POV but I still have a lot of work to do on it and I really wanted to get this story out so here we go.**

**Enjoy!**

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It was a foolish childish thing to do, but I couldn't help it. I wasn't really running away I was just taking a break from them. My family always had arguments. Mostly among the younger siblings Esme and Carlisle never fought.

I mean they weren't really my siblings. We weren't blood related just by heart. Still the fights they got into were impossible to withstand. I liked the quiet and calm of the road. It was nice and secluded.

I didn't know where I was planning on going but I didn't care really, just somewhere else. I came across an empty park. The moonlight cast shadows across the cool green grass. I parked and stepped out of the car.

I walked over to a nice grassy spot and laid down. I looked p to the sky and just laid there. I suppose I lost track of my surrounding because when I heard a twig crack I jumped up to a sitting position.

I looked around my dark surroundings to wear a girl was standing looking at me with wide eyes. "I'm sorry I was just…I'll go," she said and turned around. "You don't have to. Nothing states the park is mine," I chuckled and she turned.

I studied her. She had wide doe eyes the color of melted chocolate. Her cheeks were a faint pink and her long straight hair was tied up in a low ponytail. She was a pretty girl I suppose. She had somewhat of a girl-next-door look to her.

She laughed and the pink on her cheeks darkened. The moonlight made her look almost white so I guessed she must have been very pale in regular light. She took a step forward and heisted.

"Edward Cullen," I said. She smiled and took another step close to me. "Bella Swan," she said. Huh? Bella seemed to fit her well. She walked closer and folded her self on the ground a few feet away from me.

"so why are you here?" she asked with a smile. I raised an eyebrow at her confused. "Well for instance I come here whenever my mom and dad get into an argument, it give me peace?" she said with a shy smile.

I laughed and lay back down on the grass. "I supposed I come here for the same reasons, only I doubt my parents ever had a fight. My siblings sometimes have a hard time getting along though," I mumbled.

"You're lucky," she said. "How so?"

"I've always wanted a younger sibling," she said looking down at her faint hands. It was silent for a moment except for the soft music of crickets.

"We'll I suppose I am. But I was also born a single child," I said. I had no idea why I was telling this girl my life story but I guess it never really did matter because we sure weren't going to stay in the area long.

We had to move yet again because of Carlisle's job and Jasper and Emmett weren't too happy about it. "So you're the oldest," she stated. I laughed and shook my head.

"No, not exactly," I said and turned my head to gouge her expression. Her brows furrowed and she seemed confused. "What do you mean," she asked.

"My parents died when I was a child. Carlisle and Esme are my foster parents. They also foster four other teenagers," I said sadly. "Oh, I'm sorry for your lost," she said. "Ah, I don't remember them too well," I said shrugging it off.

I heard her get up and walk closer to my side. Hesitantly she lay down on her side. Resting her head on hand. I looked up at her and the moon light shedding shadows on her face.

"Do you siblings fight often?" she asked. "Sometimes, not always," I stated staring in her eyes. They were warm and inviting and clear. They were very pretty eyes. "I come here all the time, wonderful place to just come and think, no?" she said her eyes bright.

I turned my head back up to the sky and smiled. "Yes it is perfect. I'm sorry I took your space," I said. "Don't be, tonight I wasn't alone like others," she said. I turned back to her. I took in her face again and noticed that she was quite pretty.

She had an earthy look to her. She smiled at me and I couldn't help but form the same grin. Her eyes widened slightly and her cheeks turned an inviting shade of pink.

I sat up quickly and got to my feet. "I should really go, my family might worry," I told her and turned to walk away. "Will I see you again?" she asked from behind me. I smiled and turned around. "I'll meet you tomorrow. Right here the same time," I said and she smiled.

I shouldn't have told her that. It was better I never made connections with the way I jumped from family to family place to place but I couldn't disappoint her.

She smiled and nodded and I walked away to my car.

When I got home the light in the house were turned off and all was quiet. I opened the door slowly and looked around. No sign of anyone. I quietly climbed the stairs and went to my room. I stopped when I reached my door. In a pretty curly scrawl there was a little note.

_Edward don't worry, I covered for you. Esme and Carlisle just think you went to bed early. _

_-Love Alice_

I smiled and pulled the sticky note off of the door. I opened it and stepped into my darkened room. I closed the door behind me. I changed out of my jeans and laid down on the bed.

I laid on the bed and stared at the ceiling. I closed my eyes and was met with an image of Bella's face. I barely knew the girl and yet she was stuck in my thoughts.

The next morning went by with out any arguments only a tense silence. I shot a glance at Alice who sat with her head down avoiding everyone else. She stirred at her now soggy cereal and rocked back and forth slightly. Oh no, not again.

Alice had a tendency to see stuff. She explained it to me and I could picture it sometimes. She said she would go off in a daze and suddenly see people she didn't know doing who knew what.

Her eyes were close and she just kept moving back and forth. I was the only who noticed. I stood up and grabbed her shoulders. I stood her to her feet and led her out of the kitchen into the empty living room.

I was the only one who knew of Alice's visions as I called them because whatever she saw usually ended up happening. Alice and I had been together longer than any other of the family. We were first together when we were ten and I had never left her side no matter how many family hops we did.

Alice's visions were usually the reason we ended up with a new family. The Cullen's were a great couple and we hoped to stay with them for quite some time. So far I was the only one who knew of the visions and was able to take her somewhere private when they happened.

Sadly she never knew when they were coming. They would come and go and she could never keep them away. This one didn't seem like a bad one. When they were bad she would scream and cry but this was a good one. She was only rocking back and forth and humming.

Alice was afraid to tell anyone because when we did they usually sent us away. So after a while we learned to keep it a secret until the family found out there was something quite not right with Alice.

Alice's eyes opened suddenly and she looked at me. "Where am I?" she said and looked around. "Oh, another one huh," she said. I nodded and she looked down ashamed.

I put an arm around her shoulder trying to comfort her. I was glad Alice and I had each other to help suffer the hardships of being a teenage foster child. She looked up at me and suddenly smiled.

"I know where you're going tonight," she said and I froze. I was going somewhere tonight? Oh yes of course but I was hoping on doing that in secret.

"She's pretty," she said with a grin and I looked away. My heart beat increased a bit at the mention of Bella. "I'll keep cover for you," she whispered and I smiled. "Thanks," I said and she grinned.

"Promise me that when I go. You'll stay in your room," I said just in case she had another vision and I wasn't here to disguise it.

She nodded and I relaxed a bit. One less worry off my back. "So where are we going?" I asked and she looked up at me with sad eyes. "A town called Forks," she said. I sighed. "When?"

"Um, well Carlisle said he's going to pack today and then we should be heading out today," she said.

"All of us?" I asked. She nodded and my heart swelled. Carlisle was actually going to keep all of us. No one had done that before. We had been living with the Cullen's a little over a year now. When Alice and I had come, Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper were already living with them.

They had fostered five kids and weren't going to send us away when they moved. I really did like the Cullen's, but I didn't dare care anymore for them. I learned to never ever get attached with foster parents or anyone living with them.

Of course Alice had decided to ignore the rule completely. She had certainly grown attached to Jasper.

I sighed and headed to my room to pack.

Later on that night when everyone was asleep I snuck out. When I got to the park Bella was sitting against a tree trunk eyes closed while the wind blew at her hair. It was tied with a barrette so only had was picked up to keep away from her face.

She really did look beautiful. She opened her eye slowly and she looked at me. A small smile playing on her lips.

"So you came," she said. "Did you have doubts?" I asked though it was clear in her eyes. Yes she did. She nodded slightly and I walked toward her. I sat on the ground next to her and she turned her head toward me.

"You shouldn't, I told you I would come," I said sternly. She shrugged and smiled. "How could I be sure. I only met you yesterday," she said. I laughed.

We talked for a while. I found out her parents were going through a divorce. I told her how I was moving. I learned she was a book worm and she was extremely clumsy. I laughed when she described an incident in where she had accidentally knocked down the setting to the kindergarten school play.

We talked for what seemed like hours until I noticed it was time to go. I stood up quickly and she stood up along with me. "Leaving so soon," she said in a sad voice.

"We've been here for two hours," I told her and she blushed a light pink. "I guess this is like a permanent goodbye," she said and looked down. "I guess so, but…" I trailed off and she looked up waiting for the rest of my response.

I grabbed her chin lightly with my finger and leant in slowly. Her eyes widened and her lips parted ever so slightly. I pressed my lips to her and it was like a shock ran though my body.

He lips were soft and warm as they moved with mine. I pressed her closer to me she wrapped her hands around my neck. I could feel her body pressed up against mine and I didn't wan to let go.

Without giving much thought to it I pushed her against the tree trunk and felt her smile under my lips. I broke away for air and she pressed her lips to me ear. "Goodbye Edward," she whispered and kissed my neck softly. I shivered and pulled away.

"Goodbye Bella," I said staring at her eyes. They were wide and glossy. I kissed her softly and ran away to the car. I entered the car and rested my head against the steering wheel.

"Bye Bella," I whispered to the darkness.

I drove home in complete silence and parked the car. I got out and headed to my bed without even tying to be silent.

"Edward?" a voice called. Crap! I turned slowly and saw Carlisle on the reading chair a think book in his lap. He had a lamp on and was wearing a navy blue robe.

He looked up at me his golden eyes concerned. "I thought you would be asleep," I said like a child. To my surprised he smiled and shook his head. "It's…hard for me to get to sleep but I presume you don't have trouble," he said.

"No I was just saying good bye to a friend," I explained. I had gotten in trouble with previous foster parents for my sneaking out but Carlisle only smiled. "Well get to bed we have a big day tomorrow," he said I rushed up the stairs.

I laid on my bed and let pain take over me. It hurt for me to think about her and know I would never see her again but I couldn't be with her.

Goodbye Bella.

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**Okay here is just the first chapter. I hope you guys like it. Okay so tell me if I should continue. Please review. Thanks.**


	2. Vision

**Okay this is for all of those people who think I should have continued. Thanks for the reviews I really like them. Now here is the next chap. **

**Enjoy!**

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_**TWO YEARS LATER**_

It amazed me by how little it took to amaze the senior class of Forks High School. A new girl was coming today and all of a sudden the whole acted as if they never experienced such a thing.

What amused me the most was how all the boys were all ready drooling over her. This girl must love the attention. I sighed and idly played with a bagel. I wasn't very hungry and the school lunch didn't exactly see very appetizing.

I hadn't been very hungry all this month. I hadn't known why but I suddenly felt sick in my stomach, perhaps it was due to Alice's strange behavior. She had suddenly grew very silent and was more to herself these days.

I hadn't known why but Jasper was getting worried. It also worried me that he had such a strong connection to her. She had the same I was sure but we had rules and I was very strict in keeping them.

I knew it was dangerous to get to close to a family or anyone within the family. It only caused pain. I would know.

But the Cullen's were a different exception. They had given us their name and a life that made us feel like we were normal. They had given us birthday presents. Something no foster parent had done before.

Esme and Carlisle had gotten me a grand piano for my seventeenth birthday. Esme wanted to hear me play and she usually did. When I thought she wasn't home or anywhere near I would work on my song toward her but she always caught me off guard.

She would sneak up on me and just listen to me play. She enjoyed while she was sewing or folding laundry to listen to me play which I did often. I had token lessons when I was younger from a very snotty foster family.

The Blocks I believe they were called. They had taught me to play and then when I moved I would continue surprised by how much I actually enjoyed the piano.

Esme is so loving and caring it's hard not to feel for her but I still tried. My gaze lingered to a table and I froze. Sitting at a table looking uncomfortable was Bella Swan. She looked up and met my eye. We stood like that for a while.

It was really her. I couldn't believe it, but it was her. Her cheeks shaded pink and she looked away. Did that mean she remembered me?

I sure hadn't forgotten about her. She was always in my dream even after two years. I could still taste her lips on mine. She tasted of strawberries, sweet. I hadn't forgotten about her.

Alice looked at me and then behind her shoulder to see what or who I was staring at. She turned back to me with wide eyes and I could almost hear her thoughts, read the question in her eyes.

_That's the girl, isn't it?_

I nodded and her eyes lit up. I wasn't a mind reader but I could always tell what Alice was thinking. It didn't matter she usually told me what she thought anyway so I could pretty much tell how her mind work

I stood up and turned to my family. "Shall we go?" I asked and they nodded. They stood up and we left.

I was one of the first people to enter the biology class. I was glad I liked being alone. I also liked that I didn't have to share my table with one of the immature students here.

I took my seat and leaned back. The only thought in my head about Bella. I happened to know there was a Chief Swan living in forks but I never made the connection with Bella.

The students slowly came in the class. And the silence was interrupted by the name going around. "Bella," they all whispered and surprising enough I was accompanied by a shiver.

Then a small girl entered the room. Her straight brown hair was held back with a clip and a few pieces broke lose framing her heart shaped face. Her cheeks turned slightly pink when she caught my eye and she hurried past me to the teachers desk.

I realized suddenly that she would be sitting next to me. My heart played an uneven rhythm. she came closer and slid into the seat. She looked at me and smiled.

"Edward," I said slowly. She looked at me with pained eyes. "Bella Swan," she mumbled. I smiled. She obviously thought I had forgotten about her. "So I take it your parents finalized their divorce," I said in a nonchalant tone.

"You remembered?" she asked eyes growing wide. "Wasn't much to forget," I said and shrugged my shoulders. She laughed and Mr. Banner called for the class's attention.

I didn't quite pay attention due to who was sitting next to me. She sat so close I could fee her heat.

When the dismissal bell rang, I offered to take her to her next class. She accepted and I caught the sour look of Newton. Ah, so he already had his eye on Bella. I assumed he only cared for her looks rather than the person she really was.

As we talked I learned she had moved here due to her mother remarrying. She thought it would be best if she gave her mother some time to spend alone with her new husband.

I could tell she wasn't too happy here but she still came. She was a very unselfish person.

I dropped her off at the gym doors and said good bye. I walked to my next class with only her in my head.

This scared me also. She had this effect on me. One I wasn't use to. One I knew broke my rules if I felt it this strongly.

When school was over I met my family by my car. It was my eighteenth birthday present. The Cullen's had bought us all one. It didn't affect them knowing they were loaded with money.

My reaction was probably Esme's favorite saying as I slipped out and called her mom. In a way she was my mother and she was overjoyed that I had called her that. We had suspected that Esme couldn't have children of her own and that was the reason she fostered children.

Alice had grown to love Esme so much that she usually called her mom or Mother. Lately that had been giving both Esme and Carlisle a sad look in their eyes.

A look I knew all too well. It was the look that came across a foster parents face when they were going to give you to another family. A look that caused me pain.

Things had been going so well I didn't think they would do that to us but sure enough they had that look in their eyes. Esme had made me record my playings on a CD. This surprised me saying as she could have me play for her when ever she asked but I soon discovered the reason.

We were not going to stay much longer.

We drove home in silence and when we finally got home I went up to my room and didn't come out.

A light knock interrupted my studying. "Come in," I called as I took of my reading glasses.

Alice stood at the door frame smiling. She walked in and took a seat on my black leather sofa. I stared at her from my bed.

"So did you talk to her?"

I raised an eyebrow at her in confusion. She sighed in frustration. "Bella, Did you talk to Bella?" she demanded.

"How did you know her name?"

"Well the whole town had been buzzing about the coming of Chief Swan's Daughter. If you didn't lock yourself up in your room you would know."

"I'm sorry but do I look like Mrs. Stanley. I will not engage myself in town gossip," I said sternly.

She laughed and then froze. I didn't like that. Her fingers started to shake and her breaths came in shallow gasps. I stood up and closed the door. Then I ran to Alice's sided and pulled her to my chest as tears started to pour down her cheeks.

If she just cried then it wouldn't be that bad. But she didn't just cry, she started to scream but I muffled then against my sweater.

"Sshh Alice, it's alright," I repeated trying to calm her. She clawed at me trying to get me to let go of her but I knew better. I knew what to do.

"No Carlisle! Don't!" she shouted. I rocked her back and forth. My room door suddenly burst open and Carlisle came in.

"What going on?" he asked his voice full of concern as he took in the image. I was sitting on the sofa rocking Alice back and forth. Alice was crying and trying to push me away.

"Sshh it'll end soon," I hushed him.

As if on queue Alice's eyes popped open and she looked at her surrounding. Then she started to sob and clutch my sweater. I rubbed her back trying to soothe her.

"What's wrong," Carlisle asked. I debated whether or not to explain to him. I guess I had no choice.

"Alice has these visions—I guess you could call them—sometimes. What she sees end up coming true so I suspect she can see the future. She has no control of them they just come and go. When she has them she's no longer here, she's in the future seeing whatever is happening at that time," I explained.

Carlisle took a step closer and petted Alice's back. "Why didn't you tell me before?" he asked in a soft kind voice.

"We were scared," she whispered against my chest. "It's all right, Alice. It's okay," he said as she drifted toward unconsciousness.

"You shouldn't lie to her," I snapped anger taking over. "Why would I lie to her," Carlisle said his golden eyes boring into me.

"You won't be with her long, so how could you assure her that," I said in a fierce whisper.

"What are you talking about?"

"I know you and Esme aren't going to stay with us long. I can read the signs Carlisle, I'm not stupid."

He shook his head and closed his eyes. I could tell he was frustrated with me but I could also tell he knew I was getting to the truth.

"It's not like that, son," he said and walked out the door.

I stared after him.

He was wrong. It was exactly like that.

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**Okay so what do you think? I wonder if you could guess why the Cullen's might be giving them up. It shouldn't be that hard if you pay attention to the little details. Okay review and tell me how it came out.**


	3. Reunion

**Okay so I have updated. Okay truth was I was having writers block on this story and I just couldn't come up with anything. I write my stories from the top of my head so sorry about taking so long. **

**The people who got the answer right were Twilight-Vampire-Angel and Vampiro-amor. **

**The answer: the Cullens are vampires. **

 **Carlisle's eyes are described as a gold color**

 **Carlisle caught Edward sneaking in and said he had trouble sleeping**

 **Esme can't have children**

**Okay so you really had to pay attention to get this so thanks to those who paid attention. If you read close I have a way of just throwing important stuff in there and covering with non important stuff. Anywhos back to the story.**

**A small twist and were going to turn to Bella.**

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BPOV

He had remembered me. I couldn't believe it. it had been two years but I never forgot how sweet he tasted and how soft his lips were on mine.

This was what I was thinking as I made dinner for Charlie and me.

Charlie walked in the door and sat on one of the kitchen chairs. "Hey Bells. How was school?" he said as I laid his plate on the table. I sat down and played with my food.

"Good," I sighed even though there was so much more to that simple answer.

"Meet anyone?" he asked as he took a bite of his food. "Yeah. Edward Cullen, ever hear of him?" I said simply and Charlie started choking on his food.

"Edward Anthony Manson Cullen. That Edward Cullen," he chocked out. "Yeah I guess." I said never hearing his full name. I could tell from the look on Charlie's face he wasn't happy about that.

Charlie straightened up n his chair and composed himself. "stay away from him Bella," Charlie said in a manner that said he wasn't going to discuss this further.

He really didn't know me. "Why not?" I argued.

"Cause he's trouble. Never done anything in this town but he has a bad record Bella. I don't want to see or hear that you've been associated with him in anyway. Understand?" he said sternly.

"Why? The trouble was in his past. He's never done anything here how do you know he hasn't changed?" I said my voice raising slightly in anger.

"Bella, I will not argue this any more. My word is finale and as long as you live with me you follow my rules. Understand?" he said shouting now.

I didn't answer. Instead I stood up from my chair and stormed up the stairs. No he wasn't going to do this to me.

But yet I knew that he wouldn't do this to me if he didn't have a fair reason. So what did he do to make my dad this protective.

This scared me because ordinarily I wouldn't have argued against him. I would have trusted his judgment and let it be but this was something different. I didn't want to stay away from Edward.

He had the strongest hold on me. it couldn't be broken by a simple 'stay away'. It just couldn't. I laid in my bed as the tears continued to leak from my eyes.

If Edward Cullen was so dangerous shouldn't I stay away.

EPOV

Well I didn't know exactly what I was doing as I drove over to Bella's house. This broke all my rules but I couldn't help it. Just seeing her once wasn't enough. I needed more of her. This scared me.

I had never needed anyone and all of a sudden I felt myself forming feeling for a girl I had once stolen a kiss from. I didn't need this. My life was already a soap oprea like I needed another drama in it.

Well I suppose that was the point of soaps. In order to keep the audience you kept adding more drama. I sighed as I parked infront of her house and saw a dim yellow glow coming from her bedroom window.

I opened my door and picked up a few stones by my feet. It felt like a childest teenage thing to do but what else was I suppose to do.

I picked one stone and threw it at her window. It hit and fell to the ground. I threw another and another. I waited and then threw another.

Maybe I should just leave. I played with the stones in my hand and decided to go one more time. If she didn't come out then I would leave. I picked one up and prepared to throw it when I caught her smiling at me.

"Why Mr. Cullen isn't it past your bedtime," she said with a smile. I smiled and threw the rest of the rocks on the ground.

"No I don't have one but I couldn't help but wonder if you would like to join me for an evening drive. I believe school kept us from having a real reunion and I wasn't quite happy about that," I told her with a smile as my heart slammed against my chest waiting anxiously for her response.

Then she slammed the window on me. I stared dumbfounded at the window until I heard a soft click of the front door. My head turned toward the door to see her close the door behind. Her hair was combed and she had put on her shoes.

I smiled and she came running toward me. I held out my hands for her and she wrapped her arms around my neck. I wrapped my own arms around her waist and buried my face into her hair.

Then she pulled away and smiled at me. My eyes lingered at the soft lips I had once stolen a kiss from two years ago. I wouldn't mind kissing her again just to see if my memory served me right.

No, I couldn't. I wouldn't lead this on more than just a friendship. I couldn't bear to have feeling for this girl if only to have them broken in the end.

Then her eyes became hazy and she pushed up and kissed me. How was I suppose to keep it a friendship if she didn't play her part.

Her lips were soft and sweet. My memory didn't even cut close to reality. I moved my lips were hers softly afraid to let this kiss get any deeper. I pulled away from her after a moment and smiled as a soft pink crept over her cheeks.

"Well I guess were even Miss Swan a stolen kiss for another," I teased and she laughed. "I don't believe I stole that kiss. So I may have to steal another to absolutely make sure were even," she said looking at me through her lashes.

I wouldn't mind giving away another kiss…

I pulled away from her and looked up at her house. "Are you sneaking out?" I asked with a sly smile and my voice full of mock scolding.

"Well I have to saying as my father has forbid me of seeing you," she mummbled. Another drama…

"I thought her might. I don't exactly have the cleanest record," I sighed. I opened the passenger door for her and she slid in with out another word. I walked around and got in. We were silent for a while but soon enough she spoke.

"So, what exactly did you do to get my father so worked up over?" she asked turning to face me in her seat.

"Well I didn't committee murder if that's what your worried about. Their not big things but I have had my fair share of trouble. I've trespassed and stolen, nothing much really," I answered.

"Stolen what?" she asked her eyes narrowing. "You act like I held some one at gun point. Petty things, like shoes or jewlry,but not expensive stuff," I explained.

She laid back in her seat and looked at the rode ahead. "And the trespassing?" she asked not willing to let this go.

"I broke into a school once and I believe I snuck into a persons backyard during summer so I could sneak a swim," I answered.

"Why?"

"Because being a foster kid isn't always a piece of cake Bella. Sometimes you go to poor families or mean families or selfish families. I'm not proud of what I've done but I haven't done anything recently. For three years to be exact," I replied.

"For as long as you stayed with the Cullens," she mused,

"Yeah I guess."

It was true. I hadn't felt the need to be rebellious when I was with the Cullens. I had everything I wanted when I was with them.

"So how old are you?" she asked trying to change the subject.

"17, but I am turning 18 in June. This car was a gift from Carlisle and Esme for my 18th birthday. It was an early birthday. And you?"

"I'm also 17. I turn 18 in September. So you'll be older than me," she said with a smile.

_If I stay around that long…_

"Well happy very belated birthday," I said with a smile of my own. She blushed and looked away.

"So where are you taking me?" she asked looking around our surrounding although it was no use. It was too dark to see anything beyond my headlights.

"Why are you scared?" I asked turning to look at her. "Um…no just curious," she mumbled.

I stared at her for a moment before answering. "Were going to a small park, just like the night I met you. I come here when I have troubling thoughts," I said as I parked the car.

I led her to my favorite part of the park and we sat in the cool wet grass. "It's not the same here. You can't see the stars," she mused as she looked up.

"Well sometimes, you can when the skies clear, but yes you're right, you don't really see the stars at all," I said as I looked back up at the sky.

"So what have you been up to?" I asked.

"Nothing much. I am—sad to say—a very boring person. And you? Your life must be more intresting than mine?" she said and nudged my arm.

"If I tell you something do you promise to keep it a secret?"

She nodded and I began to tell her about Alice. I needed someone to tell and Bella was all but willing to.

"And now it seems they come more often. With Carlisle knowing I'm afraid of what's to come," I concluded.

"Do you believe Carlisle would send her away. You know like…those places" she muttered.

"I don't believe he will but I can't be sure what Carlisle would do anymore. Lately he and Esme have been acting distant toward us. I can already tell the time has come to move on. It doesn't really matter I suppose. I'll be an adult in a few months but it still comes as a shock sometimes," I mused really just letting it out.

Her eyes grew sad and she looked away from me. "So will it be like last time. Are you just going to say good bye to me and have us never see each other again?" she said and her voice was reaching a point of anger.

I took her chin in my fingers and turned her face to me. She looked at me and I could see the tears forming in her eyes.

"Bella, you wouldn't believe the hold you have over me. For two years you have constantly visited my dreams and thoughts. I doubt I would really be able to say goodbye to you," I informed her and her eyes brightened.

I kissed her lips softly for a moment and then stood to my feet. I offered her a hand and she took it as she got to her own feet.

"I think it would be best if we took you home now," I said to her and she nodded agreeing with me.

When I came to a stop at her house she turned to me. "You should know Edward I've never stopped thinking of you either," she whispered and climbed out of the car. She closed the door and ran to her house.

She looked at me one last time before she closed the door behind her.

This was bad. It wasn't only me who was in to deep but both of us.

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**Okay I would like to proudly inform you that I have written this chapter on my lap top which as of yesterday has internet. Go mom and dad! Any way I really love the revies with this story and am so happy that you guys love it so much so I hope you enjoyed this chpater. Please review and tell me exactly how much you love/hate this chap.**

**Thanks.**

**Twilight-Fan-1901**


	4. Soap Oprea

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Okay people this is for all my reviewers cuz I am so proud. There is only 3 chapters and there is like 40 reviews. It at least took me 5 to get that many on my other stories so for a reward I will post up a chapter sooner than I intended. I told u before I was having writers block but I am glad that I am now full of spark. So here u go and thanx again!!

**Okay wait quick note: I am turning to edward and bella. There is a lot of drama involing Alice and I want edward and bells to be closer before I start that so I am going to go into romance instead of drama. Just for a little**

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**BPOV**

As I packed my books into my bag, Dad gave me a stern look. I hadn't spoken to him since dinner last night.

"Bella how do you even know this boy," he asked with a sigh when the silence had grown uncomfortable. "A past encounter, it wasn't really important," I said not wanting to tell him about my late night sneak outs.

"Well I want you to stay away from him. I will know if you sneak out to see him. This town is small that means everyone knows everyone and I have lots of aquentences in this town and They'll be sure to spread the word if you guys are together," he said and my eyes narrowed.

"Charlie, I'll be sure to let you know threatening me isn't going to help you at all. So don't waste your breath," I said and stormed out the door.

This was really bad because I knew Charlie would know in a milasecond that I was spending time with Edward. There was only one thing I could do stay away from him.

During day at least.

**EPOV**

I parked in the school parking lot and Alice turned toward me. "Where were you last night?" she asked in a whisper as the rest came out of the car. "Some where? Does it really matter?" I asked turning toward her and giving her a tired smile.

Yesterday Carlisle had talked with Alice and the she had gone to bed but I could tell she was having problems. First was her attire. Instead of her designer jeans and dressy blouses she wore a pair of ripped jeans and a sweat shirt. She had bags under her eyes like she hadn't gotten much sleep and she hadn't even bothered with make up.

She was having me worried.

"Why won't you tell me?" she asked her eyes getting wide. I didn't know why I didn't want to tell Alice but I could see she had though I had done something wrong. She would go to Carlisle if I didn't say anything.

"I went to see someone," I whispered and her eyes brightened. A small tap on the window made me jump and Alice turned. Jasper smiled down at her and opened the door.

"Always the gentleman?" she snickered and he chuckled softly to himself as he helped her out. The really were the perfect couple but I wonder if he would still be true to her even when they weren't together which would be soon.

I climbed out of the car and turned toward the school to prepare for another day but perhaps today wouldn't be as dreadful as the others.

The beginning of the day went by quickly and I was thrilled when lunched came around.

As I walked toward the lunch room doors I caught Bella entering. I smiled and walked faster to catch up with her. "Hey Bella," I whispered softly and she looked up at me. Her eyes were filled with a pain I didn't understand.

"Hello Edward" she said and a soft pink blush crept over her cheeks. My fingers tingled with the urge to trace the soft blush. She said and rushed away before I could say anything.

I stood there stunned and as much as I hated to admit it, stunned. What did I do? I couldn't comprehend her unusaul behavior or maybe she just didn't feel the same. Perhaps I had scared her off last night.

This was by all means a good thing. This saved us both from the pain that sure to come in the future if we continued to get close but somehow I could all ready feel the pain.

I sighed and entered the lunch room and went straight to my usual table. Bella was sitting with in the table she was sitting in yesterday. Newton was sitting next to her chatting and she listen. She didn't look interested but she didn't look bored either.

Anger flared and I looked away in disgust. I wasn't sure if it was at me or them. I had absolutely no reason to feel jealousy, yet there was no denying that was exactly what I felt.

I ate my lunch quietly while I my eyes kept flashing toward Bella. Occansionaly she would laugh or smile and my anger would get that much worse. When I couldn't take it anymore I stood from the table.

My siblings looked at me in surprise but I shook my head and walk out of the lunch room and into the biology class I had next. It wasn't long before I was joined by Bella. The class was slowly filling up.

"Hey," she whispered not looking at me. What was wrong with her? The she started to doodle on her notebook. I looked away not bothering to pay attention to her. If she wanted to give me the cold shoulder than I would be somewhat happy to return it.

A piece of paper was passed to me and I looked down. Bella glanced at me then looked away.

_My Dad says he doesn't want to hear of me being seen with you. Even at school so I have to ignore you I'm so sorry you have no idea how hard it is. Please forgive me_

_-Bella_

The note read. I chuckled remembering last nights conversation. I took my pencil and wrote a quick not back.

_Don't worry I understand. He thinks I'm a bad boy! How bout I pick you up at eleven tonight and we could talk and go to the park like last night? _

_-Edward._

I passed her the note slyly and she looked at it. She giggled softly and then looked at me. She nodded and I smiled. I winked at her and she turned away to face the chalkboard.

The day seemed to pass incredibly slow since I couldn't wait to get home.

When the day was finally over I made my way over to my car and realized I was the first one there. I waited for my siblings to come.

When we finally arrived at home I went straight to my room as I always did.

I started on my homework yet again.

"So you went to see Bella did you?" Alice asked and I jumped. I hadn't even heard her come in.

"Yes, how did you guess I said with a chuckle as I placed my textbooks aside.

Alice took a seat on my couch and smiled. "I guess I'm just psychic," she said with a giggle and I smiled.

"Speaking of which, Alice. What happened yesterday? What did you see?" I asked. Scooting to the end of my bed so I was closer to her.

"Carlisle asked me that same thing but I didn't tell him. I was too scared," she whispered in her childlike voice. A voice she used when she was nervous.

"Well?" I pushed desperate to find out more.

"Edward this time I don't think I saw into the future. I couldn't have because I saw Carlisle. He was a…a…a vampire and I saw him lean down to bite…you. You were unconscious and then I saw blood. I yelled at him to get off you but he couldn't hear. He did get off after a while and then you started to scream. And then that's it. That's when I woke up," she told me playing with her hands.

I walked over to her and knelt down on my knees. I lifted her chin with my finger and waited until she looked up at me. "Alice, that will never happen. You yourself know that not all your visions come true and that is one of them. I mean come on vampires?" I said and chuckled trying to light the mood but it didn't work.

I stood up off the ground and patter her head. "It's all right Alice," I said as I began to walk toward my door.

"But Edward I didn't just have it that one time. I kept having it. Over and over again. It doesn't go away." She said and my body froze. That wasn't good. The last time a vision kept repeating itself it happened. The last vision was one with Alice and I joining the Cullen family.

"That doesn't mean anything Alice. We can't be sure what it means but we know it's not going to happen," I said and walked out the room.

"Alice. We can't be sure what it means but we know it's not going to happen," I said and walked out the room.

--

I drove up to Bella's house and looked up to see her waiting at the window. I got out of the car and she waved.

"You late you know," she shouted softly enough for me to hear but others not to.

I glanced down at my watch it was ten past eleven. "Not by much, but then again I've never been known for staying on time," I shouted back. She laughed and shut the window.

It wasn't long before she was coming out of the front door. She walked up to me and wrapped her arms around my neck. I wrapped my arms around her waist and she looked up at me. "so you came?" she asked.

"Did you have doubts?" I asked remebering the last time I had said those words. She nodded also smilimg and I lifted her chin with my finger. "You shouldn't I told you I would come" I stated and placed a kiss on her lips before she had a chance to say anything.

I pulled away noticing for the first time what I had done. Crap! Wasn't I suppose to keep this a friendship. Although I knew I would be lying to myself if I said I wasn't attracted to her.

Her lips parted slightly and I leaned in for another kiss. I didn't matter any more because I was in way too deep and there was no way of getting out. But that wasn't the problem the problem was not wanting to get out.

--

"so um you know that Mike kid?" Bella asked and turned her head slightly to face me. We were lying on the cool wet grass of the park. I looked at her and glared.

"Yes I do," I stated and looked away from her.

"Well he um…well he asked me out today?" she said a bit nervously. I held back the wave of jealously and anger that washed though me. "And what did you say?" I asked her trying to sound as if it didn't bother me although at that moment I was pretty sure if Newton would have been anywhere near he would have been in mortal danger.

"Well I told him…yeah," she sighed and I closed my eyes trying to hold back the anger that desperately wanted to break through. "Why?" I asked unable to come up with anything else at her statement.

"Well because I need to assure my dad that I'll leave you alone. I won't associate with you anymore," she said turning on her side to face me.

"Oh well that's nice. Go ahead and continue to lead me on while you date another boy," I said standing up.

"Edward it's not like that. I mean what is are relationship anyway huh? Do you know what it is because I surely don't. Are we just friends are we more? I would like to know?"

"Oh we even if we were dating you would already be cheating," I snapped back. She stood up on her feet and glared up at me.

"why does this bother you so much?"

"I don't know Bella. How would you feel if I just started dating some other girl and yet still end up having secret meetings with you?"

She sighed and sat on the ground hugging her knees. "That would really bother me," she said looking at the grass. I knelt down and lifted her chin yet agin with my finger. She avoided my gaze but I waited until she looked up at me.

"I'm glad but that I think means that we are way more than friends," I said gently and she used her hand to place my hand on her cheek. She smiled softly and I kissed her. "Then what should I call you, Mr. Cullen," she asked with a soft chuckle. "Why don't you call me your boyfriend and I call you my girlfriend," I said as I took her hands and played with them.

"Okay, I like that," she said and leaned in to kiss me. I smiled and and pushed her back into the ground. She giggled and intertwined her fingers in my hair.

I knew this was bad. I shouldn't form these relationships. Not serious ones at least, but I hated to think of Bella with any one else but me and even though I knew it was silly,but I sincerely thought in love with her.

And that could only lead to another drama.

My life would make a great soap oprea.

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**i am officaly on summer break people. my last day was yester day and i am so happy. cuz now i have all this free time. it's awesome. okay anyway i hope you liked this chapter as much as i did. i was going to updated last night but i got so happy reading a sneak peak of breaking dawn that i had to tell all my friends and things just got a bit well...you know.**

**okay so tell me what you think by doing this little thing called reviewing! tell me how bad you want the next chapter!!**


	5. Frightening Emotion

**Okay I know I am like a witch for not updating but summer has been hectic. So I am making some good time and updating this story cuz I had this sudden burst of an idea and had to write it down. **

**Boy is it hard writing 3 stories at the same time. **

**Enjoy! I did!**

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It had been at least a week since Bella and I had started dating. It was a pain to watch her converse with Newton and not being able to sit with her at lunch or pick her up after class and take her to her next one. It was a pain but I dealt with it.

For times when she thought I wasn't looking she would stare at me from across the lunch room or in the hall and I knew that she wanted to be with me as badly as I wanted to be with her.

Later in the night I would pick her up and take her to the park. We would talk about nothing to everything. I found out her favorite color all the way up to her favorite book. I found out what she hated most and what she loved.

She wanted to know everything about me. What family I hated the most what family I loved the most. When I met Alice. It felt like we knew everything there was about each other.

"So why would you pick a school to break into?" she asked with a low chuckle as she twirled a small flower in her hand.

"Well they had a pool and it wasn't just me it was a group of guys from school. It was a hot summer night and we decided we wanted a swim. Don't tell me you never thought about going into a school pool alone o a hot summer night?" I teased and threw some grass at her.

"No, I'm sorry but I don't think of stuff like that _bad boy_, I'm too much of a good girl," she said with a sigh.

I smiled as a thought came into my mind. "Do you want to change that?" I asked.

"You have to be kidding me? You can't be serious?" she said her eyes wide as she laughed a disbelieving laugh.

"I don't tend to joke about things," I answered and she smiled.

0.o.0.o.0.o

"Are you sure we won't get caught?" Bella asked as we snuck to the back of the gym.

"Well if we did, that would be an awkward ride home. Driving in the cruiser as your dad drove home. Could you imagine his face when he comes here to find his own daughter?" I said not being able to keep in the chuckle.

"So not funny," she said and smacked my arm. "Calm down we won't get caught I promise. And if we do I'll be the one to get caught as you run away," I joked.

We made it to the girls changing room window and I pulled it open. I turned around to help Bella get in.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked for she was glaring at me.

"How did you know what window to come to?" she asked. "Bella I know from past experience that most of the locker room windows tend to be open. Not stop accusing me and get in," I said and she blushed.

_( A/N: for some reason that seems to always be true. The locker room windows are never locked. Can't tell you how I know I just do, but I have never snuck into a high school or any other school. Thank you that is all)_

I climbed in the window shortly after I helped Bella and we made our way to the gym that contained the pool.

_(A/N: okay just to let you know I have no idea if a fork high does have a pool but I know must high schools do and I have been to many high schools. I have not snuck into any of them but I know people who have so on with the story.)_

The gym was dim and there was no light accept from the moon light that shone in through the window. The room seemed to glow and eerie blue as the water seemed almost neon.

I smiled and let go of Bella's hand as I started to strip down. I took off my pants and shirt and dove into the water.

It was amazing. The water was cool and refreshing. I came back to the surface and turned to find Bella. I pushed my hair back as I stated at her. she was standing at the edge looking into the water.

"Please don't tell me you can't swim," I begged as she blushed.

"Edward when you live in Phoenix Arizona your whole life and summers average around the hundreds you learn to swim before you walk," she stated with a laugh.

_(A/N: I have never went to phoenix but my cousin lives their and the weather is in fact true. Right now it is like 97 degrees out there, while it is only 84 degrees in lil old Chicago.)_

"It's just I don't want to go in all my clothes," she said and played with the bottom of her shirt.

Then I caught on to the problem. "Well you could wear my shirt over if you want. If you feel uncomfortable," I said trying to help.

"No, then you wouldn't have anything dry to wear. It wouldn't be fair. Look just turn around and don't look until I say so," she ordered and I held my breath and went under the water.

I didn't come to the surface until I felt the water move.

BPOV

Edward ducked his head into the water and I laughed. I quickly stripped my shirt and pants off leaving me only in my underwear and bra. I let my hair lose from the ponytail I had and dove into the water.

The water was cool and calming. It felt amazing and I couldn't believe I was doing this.

I came back to the surface and pushed my fair back. I saw Edward do the same. He looked amazing. The water glistening off of his skin and his hair pushed back. He smiled and swam toward me.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and I wrapped my own around his neck.

He kissed my lips softly before deepening the kiss. I pressed my self closer before reminded at how little clothes we had on. Edward lowered his lips to my neck and collar bone.

I laughed and pushed him away. "Come on I'll race ya," I said with a laugh and he smiled.

An hour later we got out of the pool and started to dress. When we had all or our clothes one Edward wrapped his arms around me and gently pushed me back against the wall.

He kissed my neck all the way up to my cheek before following my jaw line to my lips. I kissed him back loving the way it felt. I moved my lips up to his neck and kissed up until they were right at his ear.

"Edward I love you," I whispered and then froze realizing what I said. He pulled away and I was caught in his summer grass green eyes. They were soft and warm and disbelieving.

I wanted so much for him to say the words back because even though it seemed silly, I really did love him. It wasn't just fake teenage love either it was real. And I wanted him to feel the same way toward me.

"Bella, you have no idea how much those words scare me," he whispered and looked down. I felt like I had gotten the breath knocked out of me. "I understand," I whispered back and pulled away from him. He held my wrist and pulled me back.

I didn't think I would be able to face him right now. "You didn't let me finish," he told me and brought me back to the wall.

"They only scare me because as much as I want to deny it, to not believe it I can't. they only scare me because I feel the same way toward you but I don't want you to feel it toward me," he breathed.

Wait what? Was he telling me he loved me, but didn't want me to return the feeling? Why?

"I don't want to break your heart Bella. I have learned to close that emotion. I don't feel love toward anyone accept Alice. Everyone else I only let myself like. And even you I tried to only let my self like but I can't help it I fell in love.

"And it scares me that you feel the same way because what if I ended up breaking your heart. That would only hurt me twice as much," he confessed and I grabbed his face in my hands.

"Edward I know you would never break my heart, but I can't stop loving you. It's too late already," I whispered and he sighed. "I guess your right," he said and brought me in for another kiss.

But what scared me now, was why was he so worried about breaking my heart?

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**Oooh okay so a bit of a cliff hanger. Sorry but if I want you guys to keep reading I've got to keep you wanting to find out more. Anyway I hope you enjoyed the chapter I know I did. Please review because I've been a bit disappointed. I mean do you really want the next chapter up? I have all these alerts and favs but so little reviews. So anyway review! Please!!**

**thank you very much.**

**Ps. I have not snuck into any highschool :)**


	6. Slap In The Face

**Wow I am so happy with you guys. I mean I have gotten more reviews than I expected and to show how happy I am I am updating sooner than intended. First because you guys reviewed like I asked and second because I want to update my stories because I have already started another story. Yes I have and I can't post it because I am all ready working on three and I know I can't handle four anyway tell me how you like this.**

**Oh and a bit more info. A reviewer brought his up and incase they decide to read this chap well then I have some information. Yes I am aware that Forks high school most likely doesn't have a pool but you know what this is my story and I can do whatever I want to it. Even if that means adding a few places or taking some out. That is all thank you.**

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I couldn't help the shiver of fear that seemed to travel down my body. Alice had been acting most unlike herself. I guess I had noticed the differences but now it was over whelming.

It seemed like she had completely lost her sense of style and even her voice. I hadn't heard Alice speak for over two days. I could see I wasn't the only who was worried. Jasper was all but going out of his mind.

When we came home Friday afternoon Alice went up to her bedroom without a word to anyone.

"Hello Edward, are you hungry?" Esme asked as I entered the kitchen. I shook my head at the same time Emmett said "I am!"

"I don't recall your name being Edward, but if you are than take a seat and I'll make something," Esme said with a soft chuckle.

I pursed my lips as I thought about asking her the question that had been bubbling inside my throat.

"'Kay Ma, just let me put my stuff away" Emmett called and I heard his thunderous footsteps climb up the stairs. Esme sighed and rolled her golden butter scotch eyes.

"Esme have you noticed anything going on with Alice?" I asked finally deciding it was alright. Esme became frozen and looked at me as she went to fetch a pan for whatever she decided to make.

"Well she seems a bit more quiet than usual but other than that no I haven't. Edward have you been getting enough sleep you look exhausted," Esme said trying to change the subject.

So she did notice something going on. Or better yet she had something to do with it.

I tried to do my best in order to snake out some information that could help me. "Well I noticed she doesn't dress as nicely as she use to and she barely spends time in any of the after school clubs she signed up for. She hasn't said a word for two days Esme and I'm worried. She started acting like this almost after Carlisle had a talk with her about…something," I said catching myself before I said vision.

I wasn't sure if Carlisle had told Esme of it and I wasn't going to risk the secret by telling now.

"Edward she is a girl after all. She's probably going through some changes right now," Esme said holding her ground. Damn! She was good.

"Now why don't you tell me where you have been going this whole week," she said and sent a glare my way.

"What are you talking about," I said in a most relaxed tone. I was a good liar. 15 years of practicing does that for you.

"I am talking about the reason your car is gone almost every night and doesn't return until sometimes 3 in the morning. Have you been getting yourself into trouble again?" she asked and I could see the worry in her eyes.

I knew what she was thinking. She thought I was up to know good again like I had done in my past. She thought no doubt that Alice's changing had been the cause of it.

"No Esme, I haven't done that in a long time I don't plan on it. Please have some trust in me when I say that I have been up to nothing illegal or harmful. I have just been having fun but in a good way," I said as a smile lit my face. A real one too not one of my forced ones.

Esme could see that too because she smiled and didn't speak more of it. I rose from the table as Emmett came in and took a seat.

I left the kitchen and went up the stairs. I was going to have a chat with Alice and get to the bottom of this.

As I approached her door I found Jasper pacing in front of it. No doubt he was trying to decide whether or not he should go and talk to her. He looked up when he heard me came and his blue eyes were filled with distraught and sadness.

"Don't worry Jazz I'm going to talk to her. Just give us a moment please."

"Please Edward find out what wrong. She won't talk to me and she hasn't even looked at me. I'm worried something's wrong with her."

"So am I and I promise to get to the bottom of this," I said and he nodded as he walked away.

I opened the door to see Alice sitting at her desk working on home work.

"Now who's the one who is locked up in their room all day?" I asked throwing the words she had once used on me back to her. I expected her to come back with a sly comeback but all she did was look up and then back at her work.

_(Wow I'm writing the story and Alice already has me wanting to choke her. jeez wonder what Edward's going to do)_

"Damn it Alice I've had enough. Do you know how much worry you're causing me or better yet Jasper? He's going crazy and he thinks your acting this way because of him. Is he right? Have you had enough of him that you decided to torture him and me in the process?" I snapped knowing very well what I was doing.

I was hitting the buttons that would make her talk. I knew she loved Jasper to much to hurt him and I knew she cared too much to hurt me. Something was up and I had to find out what.

"Shut up," she growled and I smiled. I had made a response come out of her. I wiped away the smile knowing what I had to do to make her spit it all out.

"Oh so am I right? You decided you no longer loved him like you thought? You decided your going to make him mad with worry and grief have you?" I continued in the same angry tone hoping to get something out of her.

She flinched at my words and then shifted her light brown eyes on me. Her glare screamed only one word: Murder!

"I said to shut up! You don't know anything!" she said this time rising her voice just a fraction.

I was happy I was getting there only a few more buttons and levers and I would have her.

"Well you know you're acting like a witch. You're hurting the ones you love! And for what? Can you answer me that? Or was I wrong? Did you ever even love us to begin with? Were we just people to give you company?! Did you ever feel love for us?!" I spat and I hated myself for saying those words. They were harsh and I didn't want to say them but this needed to be done.

I was finished. I had finally set her off. She stood up so quickly she caused the chair she was sitting on to fall. She turned to me and glared. If looks could kill I would sure me dying a horrible long lasting painful death at this moment.

"You have no idea what you're talking about. You have no idea what I'm going through and how I have to live with the choices I make. You just spend all your time lusting after the new girl Bella Swan. You don't give a damn about what is going on and you'll be fine as long as you have her.

"You've fallen in love with her have you not? Well love will take you many places and I have places of my own to go to. So for once in your life stay out of my god damn business and go have fun with the little witch you call Bella!" she shouted and I was stunned.

Was she acting this way because of me? But before I could muster up anything out of the situation my anger got the best of me.

"Oh right Alice blame all your bizarre behavior on me because for once in my life I'm happy and you are just jealous and you know it1" I shouted back and then fast as lighting I was slapped across the face by her tiny hand.

I placed one of my hands on my cheek. It stung but it didn't hurt. I was absolutely stunned this was not the Alice I knew. I stared down at her and her own eyes were fierce with anger and sadness. They were huge and glossy and she looked at the brink of tears.

Then realizing what she had done she froze and stared at me with shocked eyes. Then the tears started coming down. "Oh Edward 'm so sorry I have no idea what came over me I…I…I…" but she couldn't finish the sentence because she started to cry.

She sobbed and leaned into me chest as I rubbed her hair and laid a cheek on top of her head. "It's alright Alice I forgive you," I told her and lead her to the bed. I placed her on the bed and rocked her slightly like I use to when we were kids and she use to have a vision.

She lay on my chest and I thought she was asleep but I heard her whisper so softly I wasn't sire she said it at all.

"You make this so hard for me. I'm going to miss you so much."

But before I could ask her what she meant she was already asleep. I laid her on the bed and kissed her forehead. Then I turned out the lights and walked out of the room.

I made it to my room and looked in the mirror to examine my cheek. It still stung slightly and I couldn't figure out why. But when I had looked in the mirror I realized Alice had not only slapped me but also scratched me. There was a long pink gash on my cheek.

I traced it softly and the plopped myself on my bed.

Something weird was going on with Alice and I was going to figure out what no matter what.

But as I drifted toward unconsciousness the words drifted into my head.

"_You make this so hard for me. I'm going to miss you so much."_

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**Okay there you have it. I hope you liked it because I did. Okay so review and that gets me to update faster and if I update faster I will finish a story and there for get my new story out there so please review for me.**

**Quick shout out to **_**Bookworm290**_ **who just joined today and loves my stories. Welcome and thanks for reading my stories Bookworm290.**

**Anyway please review and tell me if you want the next chapter up!!**

**Love lots Twilight-Fan-1901 **


	7. Optimist

**A/n: wow I love the response I have for this story. I never thought it was that good but a lot of my reviewers seem to disagree. I mean I just updated and already I have like 10 reviews for the last chapter. To me that is like a lot so thanks for reading my story and I love ya all for it. Thanks for the reviews and in turn I give you an update!**

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_I had no idea where I was. The surroundings was so foreign to me as though they weren't even real. _

_I walked along a cold dark hallway having no idea on where I was leading myself or going. I was stranded in a world that held nothing. I traced my hands on the walls feeling like a child as the rough brick interior passed under my finger tips. _

_I was drawn into a small glow up ahead. I was bound to it the only escape I had. But no matter how much I walked I never arrived any closer or farther. I stood at a steady pace and the light would not come to me. _

_I started to panic. Why was the small patch of light avoiding me? I started to run yet after what seemed like hours I never got any closer. _

_Then a shadow passed the light and I froze. I stood motionless as the shadow came closer and I could make out who it was. _

_Alice?_

_She looked at me and smiled. A smile that was truly showing how happy she was. The smile held joy and eagerness but her eyes were sad and regretful._

"_Alice. Alice," I shouted. She looked at me but didn't come any closer. I started to run to her but I never got any closer. She was like the light she stood away from me. Away from my reach. _

"_Alice," I shouted again and she turned toward the light._

"_No Alice don't go please don't go!" I was still running hoping to get to her and she did seem to get closer but only by a small fraction. _

Beep!

_She turned her head toward me and whispered though her voice echoed off the walls and seemed to boom around me._

Beep_!_

"_You make this so hard for me. I'm going to miss you so much," and with that she jumped into the light and was gone. _

Beep!

_I couldn't give up I had to chase after her I couldn't let her go I just couldn't. She was my family she was all I had and I wouldn't lose her too like I had lost others._

Beep!

I jumped in my bed coming to sit in an upright position. I shook my head looked around me. I was in my room. The alarm on my wrist watch going off.

Beep!

The annoying sound had leaked into my dreams as well. I shut it off and ran a hand through my hair as I lay back down in my bed and turned over.

I was desperately trying to get the horrid dream out of my head. The dream that made my spine shiver. But as I tried to drift back into the deep waters of unconsciousness I remembered what my watch woke me up for.

I sat back up and shook my head trying to rid the left over of my drowsiness.

"Bella, Crap!" I mumbled as I got up and pulled my shoes on. I was almost 30 minutes late. I climbed down the stairs as quietly as I could but then I heard voices. I froze on the stairs as I heard the voices drift from the living room.

I couldn't see them but I knew who was there.

"Carlisle, I think he may suspect something. I feel horrible keeping him out like this. He cares for Alice in a way she's the only thing he has," I heard Esme's soft voice. "I know dear but it's what Alice wants and I'm not to sure he'll follow along with her," Carlisle argued.

"But why does she want it. It's not for her, why did you ever tell her about this," Esme said exasperated. "Because of what she saw. She was figuring it out and I knew she wouldn't stay blind for long. She wants to control them and she thinks this is the only way she could. She wants control in her life and frankly she'll do whatever she can to get it," Carlisle explained

"But doesn't she realize that she won't have control. Of them I'm sure but what about the other matter. Than she'll be completely out of control. It's not an easy adjustment. Have you not tried to implant that in her head," Esme said in an angry whisper.

"I have but it doesn't matter anyway. She knows too much and is going too have to go through with it. There nothing more I could do," Carlisle sighed.

"And when do you plan on doing it?" Esme said seeming to have given up the fight.

I heard a short mumble but I couldn't catch the words. "So soon," Esme whispered. There was no response so I figured Carlisle had nodded or just didn't answer.

"And what about Edward? Are you just going to leave him blind as well? Don't you think he deserves an explanation or at least something?" Esme said in a tone that was pure sadness.

"No, I think Edward deserves much more than this cruel world has given him. I think he shouldn't be in the life he is in now," Carlisle sighed and I was stunned. The Cullen's had always been a great couple but to know they thought more of me and Alice made me feel…I couldn't explain how it made me feel.

It was a strange feeling. "I know. He takes everything so coldly though, I believe he's afraid to open up. Afraid to get hurt, but look what you're going to do to him. The one person he ever let in and you're going to take her away," Esme said gaining back her anger.

"I've been thinking about something but I'm not sure…"Carlisle said in a wistful tone.

"What were you thinking?" she asked and I could hear suspicion and curiosity in her voice. There was another mumble of words I couldn't catch. They almost sounded like a hum. Was he even talking?

"Carlisle we can't do that, we just can't," Esme argued with whatever he had said.

"Why not?" he asked and then I heard him sigh. "You're right we can't but I just let the idea take over just a bit. Having a real family," he said again in a regretful tone. "Yes, indeed it is a very intriguing idea but what if it's not for everyone. What if they don't want it," she said in a soothing tone.

I looked at my watch and realized I was even later than before. I marched down the stairs and out the door but not before I heard Esme and Carlisle call in unison, "Edward?!"

I made it into my car and started to drive to Bella's house.

I made it there faster than what I thought I would but I suppose that was due to my speeding. I parked in front of the house and saw Bella's lights go on. I quickly climbed out of the car and took a seat on my hood.

Bella's window opened and she looked at me.

"What happened? I thought you weren't coming," she shouted in a whisper.

I shrugged and motioned for her to come down. She took the message and in a few minutes she was coming out of the front door. She ran toward me and wrapped her arms around my neck as she pulled me down for a kiss.

It was a soft gentle kiss in which left me wanting more when she pulled away. I leaned in for another kiss but she put a finger on my lips to stop me and I realized this was her way of punishment.

What a way of punishment it was too.

"Why are you late? She said taking a few steps back from me but not looking like she was mad just curious.

I opened the car door for her and she looked in it before looking back at me. "Well I'll tell you but not now. Unless you want your father to hear us…" I said explaining why I wasn't telling her.

She nodded in understanding and got into the car.

We started to drive toward the park and she looked at me and I heard her gasp.

"Edward what happened to your cheek," she asked and traced the mark on my cheek softly with the tips of her fingers. "Nothing," I said but I knew she wouldn't leave it at that.

"Why won't you tell me?" she asked and I heard hurt and pain in her voice. Just like the time Alice had asked me.

"I…Alice and I got in a fight. I mentioned how she was acting weird well she hasn't spoken for the last two days and Jasper has been getting worried not to mention myself. I went in to talk to her and I said stuff to provoke her. Trying to get something to get out of her. I guess I crossed the line and she slapped me. When she realized what she did she started to cry and then she told me something that bothered me," I said trying to explain.

"What did she tell you?" Bella asked in a soft tone. A tone that told me I didn't have to tell her if I didn't want to.

"She told me that I was making it hard for her and that she would miss me," I said still trying to make some sense out of it.

"What did she mean?" Bella questioned.

"I have no idea but then Carlisle and Esme were talking and I over heard them. It was a confusing conversation but it scared me. I didn't get to hear the rest because I was late in picking you up" I said and smiled at her when we arrived at the park

It was drizzling out so Bella and I took a soft grassy spot under some of the thick heavy trees.

"I think they're sending her away some where or doing something to her and Alice's I believe she knows exactly what's going on. I just can't put together the puzzle. I'm missing too many pieces. It's like it is a thousand piece puzzle and I only have fifty pieces," I said running a hand through my hair after I had finished telling Bella about the conversation I had just heard. Bella leaned on my shoulder and took my hand.

"So you barely have any of the puzzle just a small picture of what's going on?" she said trying to lighten the mood. I chuckled softly and kissed her head.

"Yes that is exactly what is going on. I feel so confused and I feel like I'm losing her, like I'm losing the only family I have," I muttered not use to feeling so helpless.

Bella looked at me and held on to my hand tightly. "Edward, you'll find out what's going on and you'll fix it okay. Just try not to think so darkly. I know you'll find a solution to this," Bella said and kissed the cheek with the mark on it softly.

"I wish it was that easy," I muttered. "It is you just have to stop thinking that it isn't," Bella argued.

"Since when did you turn into such an optimist?" I questioned with a chuckle.

"Since I met you," she answered and kissed me.

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**Okay not really a cliff hanger hear just a nice little moment. Anyway I loved the review response that I got from the last chapter and I hope I get that many on this one. So if you really want to know what happens next you'll have to review. **

**But I'll give you a small hint: Bella will no longer be a secret to the Cullen's.**

**That is all I can say so review and tell me if you want the next chapter. i'm serious when i say more reviews equal faster updates.**

Lots of love Twilight-Fan-1901


	8. Fear

**Okay well here we are another update. For those of you wondering why Carlisle and Esme didn't hear Edward in the stairs or the fact that they didn't know he was there well, lets just say I imagined them too wrapped up in the conversation to notice Edward. That was all. Thank you and enjoy my up date!**

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"Edward come down for breakfast!" I heard Emmett yell just outside my door. I opened my eyes and looked at the time. It was only nine o'clock. I yawned and turned over not yet ready to get up.

I hadn't come home until two last night and I hadn't gotten much sleep.

I sat up on the bed deciding I might as well get up.

"Edward would you like some eggs," Esme asked and I heard the oil pop from the frying pan she had on the stove. Emmett was busy eating his eggs while Rosalie was drinking her coffee and eating her bagel.

Sometimes it seemed Rosalie stood out more in this family than I did. "Where are you planning on going?" Rosalie asked. She was referring to the fact that I was fully changed.

I ignored her question and turned to Esme. "Esme I was wondering if it would be alright if I invited a friend over?" I asked as I took a seat.

Esme turned toward me a bit wide eyed and seemed to be at a lost for words. "Of course Edward that would be wonderful," she said and placed a plate of food in front of me. I smiled at her and she returned it.

"So who is she?" Emmett asked taking a break from his food. You really couldn't blame Emmett from eating the way he did. A boy his size would have to eat that way just to survive a day.

"What makes you thinks it's a girl?" I asked as I began to eat. "Well I didn't think you would have that cheesy grin on for a boy. But maybe I was wrong," Emmett said and attacked his food yet again.

"Her name is Bella. She's the new girl in school," I heard a perky voice come from behind me. I turned to see Alice coming into the kitchen holding Jaspers hand. They took there seats and Esme began to make more eggs.

"Please don't tell me you've fallen for Bella Swan. You might as call yourself a sheep. You know half the boys in school have fallen for the girl," Rosalie said and examined her manicured nails. I rolled my eyes and took a look at Alice.

She was wearing one of her designer dresses and she had put makeup on today. She seemed happier today but there was no mistaking the sadness and grief in her light brown eyes. What had made her change?

Jasper was no doubt looking happier to have his Alice back and I was glad for him.

"Bella Swan? Isn't she the chief's daughter?" Esme asked as she placed Alice's and Jasper's food in front of them. I nodded not meeting her eyes. Did she know that Bella wasn't supposed to see me?

"Hmm…I hear she's a sweet girl. I would love to meet her," Esme said.

"We'll Edwards met her before. When we lived in Phoenix," Alice said taking a bite out of her eggs. Alice was never the girl to worry much about her weight, but it didn't matter seeing as she barely gained a pound. She had one of those bodies that no matter what you put in it, you never gained a pound. I could see Rosalie envied her for it but Rosalie was always one to watch what she ate. Always saying her body was a temple.

I hated that quote.

"Really and you never told us about it?" Emmett said with a grin on his face. "Didn't seem important," I said shrugging it off. Emmett just chuckled as he took his plate to the sink and dumped it in. "I can't wait to meet her," Emmett said as he made his way to the living room. I rolled my eyes already imagining the trouble that could happen.

o.0.o.0.o.0

I drove my way to Bella's house feeling a bit nervous. I was glad to see that Charlie's car was not parked in the drive way which meant he was out. My only hope was Bella didn't decide to go with him to where ever he planned on going.

I parked the car and made my way to the front door. I knocked and waited. I heard foot steps coming and the sound of locks being undone. Bella opened the door and her eyes went wide with surprise.

"Edward?" she asked as she looked me up and down. "Do you know someone else who looks like me?" I joked and she smiled. "No I don't" she answered with a smile. Her hair was picked up in a sloppy bun and she was wearing a plain white t-shirt and sweats.

"Come on," she said and opened the door wider inviting me in. I followed her into the kitchen and took a seat as she leaned back into the counter. "Just got up?" I asked as I trailed my eyes down her body. Bella blushed a red and nodded. "Yeah a little while ago. I didn't have plans so I didn't figure I had to get dressed," she said and played with the hem of her t-shirt.

"Do you want to have plans?" I asked and she looked up at me. "What do you mean?" she asked. "Well I was wondering if you would like to come to my house for the day. Just to meet my family?" I said with a smile.

"You mean it? I get to meet the famous Alice?" she asked her eyes bright with eagerness. I nodded and she smiled. "I'd love to come over, but let me get dressed first," she said as she pulled down on her shirt. "You might not want to let Alice see you like that or I'm sure she'll turn you into a life size Barbie," I joked and Bella flushed a light pink.

"I doubt I'll be able to pass off as a Barbie," she said looking down at her feet. "You're right you could never compete with Barbie," I said and she looked up at me with a bit of hurt in her eyes. I smiled and stood from the table and made my way over to her.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and lowered my lips to her ear. "You're much too beautiful to compare with her," I whispered and felt her shiver in my arms. She laughed and pulled away. "Ya right," she snorted and left to her bed room.

I examined her house as she got ready. It was nothing special. Nothing different. I looked through some of the pictures. Charlie had a row of pictures of Bella. It looked like it went from grade school to middle school up to high school.

It was nice to see the changes she went through growing up. I stopped and stared at a picture that had to be around two years old or maybe less. Bella's hair was long and pulled back in a barrette like it had been the first day I met her. A small smile played at her lips and her eyes looked sad and troubled.

There was only one picture following after that one. It held the same emotion as the one before it and I wondered what could make her from smiling widely and eyes bright to having pictures where you could only make out a hint of a smile and having eyes so sad and distant.

Was it the divorce? It was hard for everyone to have parents separate. Feeling like the only reason they were together in the first place was for you and then when they finally did leave it was like you weren't enough to keep them together. To keep them happy.

It was a pain that was strong and made you feel like you could never be enough. Did Bella ever feel like that? Like she just wasn't enough? "I hate those pictures. I have to tell Charlie to take them down," Bella mumbled from behind me and I jumped.

I had been so lost in thought that I hadn't heard her come down. "Don't you dare tell him to take them down, they look nice," I said and her snort.

I turned to find her staring at the line of pictures. She looked at me and her eyes brightened. I stepped closer and held her in my arms. I felt guilty having someone who deserved so much better. I couldn't even take Bella on a real date for fear that someone might see us and I would never be able to see Bella again. How could she want a relationship like the one she had?

"Tell me something"

"Anything you want," Bella answered.

"Why are you with me," I asked my heart pounding for an answer.

"Because I love you," she said with out hesitation. It made my heart soar and yet it made it feel hurt too.

"Okay then why do you love me?" I asked not letting her get out of it so easy.

"Why do you want to know?"

"Because I do. If you tell me then I'll tell you why," I said trying to negotiate a compromise.

"And then you have to tell me why you love me," she said and I chuckled agreeing.

"But first I suggest we get a move on,"

Bella laughed and we made our way to the car. Once I started to drive I turned toward her and asked, "So are you going to answer?"

"Let's see why I love the one and only Edward Masen," she said in a hum. I had asked her not to refer to me as a Cullen and she accepted. Somehow I still had a feeling we wouldn't be with them much longer.

"Well first you are with out a doubt and despite what people think, a true gentleman. It's hard to find them these days. Another good thing is that you seem to connect with me. I can trust you. It's hard to find someone to give trust too. You certainly seem to like me for my mind…I hope," she said and I smiled at her tone of voice.

"Then there's the fact that we could talk for hours about everything to nothing. Not to mention you can have any girl you wanted and yet you chose me. The most important is that you love me back," she said with a sigh.

"More than you can know," I told her and she blushed. "Now your turn," she said turning the spotlight toward me.

"Well, I think you are the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on. I love how even though I am the worst choice you can pick you still chose me and chose not to run away. You don't act like most girls, always worrying about make up or clothes. You seem to be the type who dresses for comfort rather than beauty. Then again it doesn't matter because you look beautiful no matter what you wear," I said and heard her snort.

I rolled my eyes but ignored it other wise. "You help me with my problems rather than run away from them. I can trust you not to turn away from me when I need you the most," I said and she looked up at me. She placed a hand on my arm and rubbed it soothingly.

"You can and always will be able to," she whispered and I smiled hoping more than anything that it was true.

"I love you," I stated and she blushed

"I love you too," she said and I felt happier than I had in years.

We finally made it to the house and I felt suddenly nervous. I stole a glance at Bella to see that she was at the edge too. I leaned in toward her and whispered in her ear, "Don't worry they'll love you. Trust me they have been dying to meet you." She looked up at me. "Okay" she breathed and I got out of the car. I opened the door for her and she climbed out.

I took her hand as I walked to the front door and opened it. "Edward is that you?" Alice called from the living room. "Yes Alice," I said and closed the door behind me. I took Bella's hand once more and made my way toward the living room.

Alice was sitting on the couch curled up with a magazine while jasper was mindlessly watching something on television. Alice stood and made her way over to us.

"Hello Bella. I'm Alice. I've heard so much about you," she said and extended a hand toward Bella. Heard or saw?

"Nice to meet you Alice and I could say the same. Edward seems very found of his little sister," Bella said and I could feel her loosen up slightly.

"I'm only little by a couple months," Alice snorted in good humor. "No Alice you're little in many other ways," I said gesturing toward her height and she laughed.

"Well okay maybe I am a bit smaller than most girls my age," she said and made her way over to the couch. "Come Bella," Alice said and patted the seat next to her. Bella slowly made her way toward Alice and took a seat.

"Bella this is Jasper by the way," I said and gestured toward the tall blonde male sitting quietly in the reading chair. "Hello Jasper," Bella greeted with a smile. "Nice to meet you Bella," Jasper said in return. I took a seat next to Bella as Esme came into the room.

"Hello, you must be Bella right?" Esme asked in a soft voice as she extended a hand toward Bella. Bella nodded and I noted the light blush that never seemed to leave her face. "Yes, your home is lovely Mrs. Cullen," Bella answered. "Thank you, but you can call me Esme," she said.

"Where is Emmett and Rose?" I asked for the first time noticing that they weren't any where in sight. "Rose had to run some errands," Alice answered and her forehead crinkled in thought. I could tell she was trying to make a list of those errands in her head. Rose had no doubt made immediate plans to keep from meeting Bella. I sighed and Alice looked at me. I nodded slightly showing her I understood and then stood from the sofa.

I took Bella's hand and lifted her from the couch. "Come on," I whispered toward her and then led her up the stairs.

"Where are you taking me," she asked with a giggle. "I want to show you my room. Alice, I'm sure, will probably join a few minutes after," I said knowing Alice.

When we came to my door I pushed it open and Bella came in. I was a very tidy person. Except for the few papers that were spread across my desk the room was very clean. Bella stepped in and looked around.

"Wow," she breathed and made her way over to the leather sofa. "Impressive," she said and took a seat. I laughed and followed her. "It's where I spend most of my time," I informed her. "I would too if I had a bedroom like this," she said looking around again.

I smiled and played with her hand. She turned to face me and a weird look I couldn't understand came across her face.

"You never did tell me why you wanted to know I loved you?" Bella said. "To be honest I completely forgot I had made that promise," I admitted.

"Well I just reminded you so go on."

I took one of her hands in mine and kissed her finger tips lightly. "I have no idea why you chose me. I mean out of all the guys who could give you a normal relationship and have your father's approval you chose me. I mean I can't take you out to the movies or take you to dinner for fear that we'll get caught. All I could do is take you to a park and at midnight. I can't sit with you during lunch and I can't hold your hand as I walk you to class. Do you have any idea how frustrating that is?" I said and looked up at her.

Bella snorted and looked away from me. "You silly boy, I don't you to do all those things. I'm at a comfort where we go at night. I like going to the park late at night where no one can interrupt us. It is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. Yes I wish you did have Charlie's approval but I'm not going to let him stop me from seeing you. Yea sometimes I wish you could walk me to class to show people were a couple but I mean other than that I really don't care. As long as I can still see you, I don't mind doing what we have to do," she said and kissed my lips softly.

"You love me more than I deserve," I said and ruffled her hair. She rolled her eyes and then we heard a knock at the door. "Can I come in?" a soft perky voice asked. She didn't wait for an answer because the door was suddenly open and she walked by and sat on the floor in front of us.

"How nice we have company Bella," I joked and Bella laughed.

"Very rude company, but company none the less," Bella teased. Alice pouted and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I am not rude," she mumbled and I laughed. "No your just childish," I said and ruffled her short hair. Alice rolled her eyes and then looked at Bella.

"You know you've changed since the last time I saw you," Alice said looking at Bella. Bella furrowed her brow in confusion. "What do you mean?" she asked. "Well I mean two years ago you had such a sad appearance but you seem happier now. Why is that?" Alice said. I guess Alice already figured I had told Bella about her visions and that was why she was mentioning this.

Bella I was sure was trying to remember if she had ever had an encounter with Alice before.

I rolled my eyes when I remembered that Alice had once had a vision about Bella and me.

"Alice when you go on talking like that you confuse the girl," I said and Alice darted her eyes to me. "What do you mean? I'm sure you told her," Alice grumbled. "I did but that doesn't mean I told her every single one you had," I argued.

Alice's eyes brightened and then something seem to change. "Bella go close my door please," I whispered and Bella did without asking questions.

I sat on the floor and looked at Alice her eyes were beginning to water and she closed them. She wrapped her hand around herself and began to go rock herself. "Edward what's wrong?" Bella asked in a voice that was panicked. I wrapped my arms around Alice and buried her face in my chest as she began to sob. "Edward," Bella called placing her hands on my shoulders "sssh Bella it'll be over soon," I told her and she stood quiet.

Alice didn't scream she just sobbed and it lasted about 2 minutes before she finally stopped. Alice opened her eyes and looked around at her surroundings. Her eyes landed on me and she took hold of my sweater making sure to grab tight as she buried herself in my chest and cried. Bella sat next to me and I stole a glance at her. Her eyes were filled with worry but I couldn't find fear or even disgust like I thought I would.

She looked down at Alice with gentle eyes and slowly rubbed a hand through her hair trying to soother her.

"Alice what did you see," I asked after she seemed to gain control of her sobbing. She wiped her eyes and tried to sit up. "Edward, I saw you," she said and another sob shook her.

"What did you see about me?" I asked wondering what kind of vision would make her cry like she did. Bella held Alice's hand and rubbed her back soothingly.

"Edward I'm scared for you," was all the Alice said.

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****

Okay I'm kinda meaning I know. I just left it at a cliffhanger like that. Man I hate people who do that and I am one of those people. Oh well. If you want t know what's going to happen next you have to review. Yes I told you the more reviews the faster updates and I keep to my promises.

**This is my longest chapter btw.**

**Okay well I was told that I should continue with the next chapter hints and I would the only thing is I haven't decided what the next chapter is going to contain so you'll just have to wait. **

**Please review for me!**

**Lots of love Twilight-Fan-1901**


	9. Picture Perfect Future

**Oh my god you have no idea how happy you guys just made me. This story has broken a 100. Yay that is like awesome for me. It is my first story to get a hundred reviews and I am like past happy I am extremely happy so I just wanted to say thanks. Now I have been making goodtime out of my summer and I am able to update much quicker than usual also because my creativity has come home after the long vacation it took.**

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I stood leaning on the door of Alice's room. She was sleeping safe and sound inside and I couldn't help the tight feeling I had in the bottom of my stomach at the memory of the vision she had early. After that vision I took Bella home where she assured me she was not going to run away from me just because saw into the future.

I was truly amazed at her reaction. I was sure she would run away from me but if anything it only made her come closer. I looked at the time. It was nearing eleven and I knew I would have to pick up Bella at any time now. I couldn't believe it had only been a few hours since I saw her. It seemed much later than that.

I made my way down the stairs and saw a light on in the kitchen. Esme was cleaning the counters and looked up when I came in. She smiled at me and gestured toward a seat. "Bella seems like such a sweet girl," she said as she continued to wipe the counters.

"She truly is," I said a smile spreading across my face. Esme smiled even wider and then looked at me. "So I guess that is where you been going late at night?" she asked. I nodded.

"Yes but we don't do anything. I take her to a park and we just talk," I assured her not wanting to give her the wrong idea. "Edward I trust you. I know you wouldn't do such things," she said. She took a seat across from me and folded her hands on the table.

"I also know why you've been taking her to the park during night. Charlie called me you know," she said looking at me. My hands clenched into fist. She was about to tell me I couldn't see Bella anymore. I just knew it. I suddenly felt nauseated and my hands seem to calm over with sweat.

"But you're always welcome to bring her over here," Esme said and kissed me on the head as she walked out of the room. I turned my head but she was already gone. Did she honestly just say that?

I was stunned I couldn't move. "Thank you mom," I whispered as I left to pick up Bella.

o.0.o.0.o.0

"So if you were to get married where would you have the wedding," I asked Bella as I played with her hair. Her head rested on my chest and I was propped up by the tree that was behind me. We lay on the blanket that I had kept in my car.

"Well I always enjoyed garden weddings," she answered as she traced a finger lazily on my chest. "And what color would your wedding dress be," I asked. "White of course. One that exposed your shoulders. It was be lacey and long and I would be able to wear flats so I didn't trip while I walked down the aisle," she mused.

"And who would be your groom," I teased.

She looked up at me and smiled. "You, of course," she said and kissed my lips.

"Okay and then where would we live?"

"I was thinking somewhere sunny, but not too sunny. Somewhere where the kids could enjoy the puddles after a storm and come cuddle in bed with us when the thunder became too loud for them," she said and gave me a squeeze.

"How many children would you want?" she asked me.

"I think I would want two. A little girl and a little boy and then maybe if I was ready for it I would want another one but later on," I answered kissing my hair. "What would we name the little girl," she asked and I blurted out an answer before I could think about it.

"Elizabeth."

"Isn't that the name of you mother?" she asked and I nodded. I had forgotten I told her my mother's name.

"Well I love it. We could call her Liz or Lizzy or Beth," she said eyes faraway.

"I wish she would have your eyes," I whispered in her ears and I heard Bella snort. "No, I want her to have your eyes and your nose and your—"

"Your lips. She can have my eyes but she must have your lips and your hair." I argued cutting her off. To prove my point I lowered my lips to hers and kissed her softly but when I was about to pull away she wrapped her fingers in my hair and brought me down.

She deepened the kiss and I knew I had to pull away before I did something I knew I wasn't ready for. I broke the kiss apart gasping for air. She was the same way and her cheeks were a tint of pink. "And she needs to have your blush. No matter what she must have you blush," I said as I ran my finger softly across her cheek.

"Okay but the boy must have you hair and your lips and your eyes," she said and I sighed. "No I want him to have your eyes," I said and kissed her forehead.

She laughed and nodded. "I don't think we have a choice in the matter," she said and I laughed. "I think your right, we don't have a choice in the matter what so ever" I agreed.

"But we do have a choice on what the little boy's name will be," She said and looked at me. "Would you like to name him Edward," she asked and I shook my head.

"I never really did like being named after your father. It makes you feel like your living under him, like you have to do what he does. Let's not put our boy under all that pressure."

"Okay what about naming him Anthony," she said using my middle name. "I think its better," I said and ruffled her hair.

_(A/N: Anthony is my youngest nephew's name. I swear it is but my sister did not name him after Edward what so ever. She doesn't even know who Edward is. We call my nephew Tony so it isn't a big deal. Anyway I just wanted to throw that in there)_

"Andy, I like that. I could really get use to that," she chuckled. "So can I," I said and began to play with one of her hands.

"Okay and what would your job be Mr. Masen?" she asked eyes bright. "I would love to go into medicine. Be a doctor or maybe a lawyer, which ever was a better provider," I said not really giving much thought of what I wanted to be.

"What about you? Would you have a job or would you be a stay at home mom?" I asked truly curious to hear what Bella had in store for her future.

"I think I would want to be a teacher. A literature teacher or an English teacher. That way I could teach what I loved and then have the summer and weekends off with the kids," she said after a moment of silence. She stood quiet aster that and I thought about it.

I could see it perfectly. Having a nice house with a large front yard and coming home from what ever my profession was and having the kids jump on me glad I was home. I could see me separating them after a fight and Bella coming to give me a kiss when I came home.

I could see her helping our daughter dress her dolls or braid her hair after a shower. I could see her playing cars with our son and tuck him in a night. I could see it and I wanted it more than I wanted anything in my life. More than I allowed myself to want anything in life. It was easier not to want anything because if you didn't get it that pain wasn't as bad. But this was different. I could help but want this. I wanted it and I couldn't help myself from wanting it.

"Edward, what did Alice see earlier today," Bella asked breaking me out of my reverie. "She wouldn't tell me. She just said she worried for me. You should know you were there," I reminded her.

"Yes but how was I suppose to know she didn't just tell you once I left. That vision got me worried Edward. If Alice could really see into the future I worry she saw something bad about you. Something bad that happened to you. Wouldn't that explain her reaction toward it? Aren't you the least bit worried?" she asked worry and fear filling her eyes.

"Bella I really don't think it is anything to worry about. Alice sees a lot of things but it doesn't mean it will actually come true," I told her and sighed seeming to relax a little bit.

"ISABELLA SWAN!" we heard a voice shout and Bella stiffened. The hairs on the back of my neck rose and I suddenly felt nauseated again. Bella and I looked up to see Chief Swan marching toward us red faced. His face was flushed red in anger and his nostrils flared.

It was like my whole world came tumbling down. Charlie grabbed Bella's arm and lifted her to her feet as I got to mine. "I told you to stay away from him Bella and you deliberately disobeyed me. You were raised better and I am ashamed of you," Charlie scolded while looking at his daughter. Bella eyes were filled with tears but none spilled over.

"As for you, I want you to stay away from my daughter. I don't care what innocent girl you decide to mess with but it will not be my daughter," he shouted at me. "Chief Swan please let—" but I never got to finish the sentence because he raised a hand a walked away holding Bella's arm.

Bella looked back at me with tears trickling down her cheeks. "I love you," she mouthed while Charlie took her out of my sight.

I leaned my head against the tree trunk and slid down. Right when things were going so perfect, they had to be ruined. I touched my forehead to my knees. I knew he only did this because he wanted what was best for Bella and he felt I wasn't best. I couldn't blame him but if only he knew how much I loved her. If only he knew I couldn't hurt her by own will. How did he find out?

Then one person came into mind. I stood quickly and made it to my car.

I drove home going faster than the speed limit allowed but I was too angry to care. I opened the door to my house and slammed it behind me.

"Edward," Esme called from the kitchen and I made my way over. "Why would you tell?!" I shouted letting my anger take over the best of me.

"Tell what?"

"Don't play stupid I know it was you who told. Why would you do such a thing?! How could you do this to me! Right when I thought you may have been the best mother I could ask for you go and do this. I trusted you and you just threw it in my face!" I shouted and watched as Esme's face grow horrified.

"Edward I swear I didn't tell Charlie. I saw how happy Bella made you and I couldn't…wouldn't be able to take that away from you," Esme said and she looked close to tears.

"Save it, I don't want to hear it," I said and made my way up to my room. Alice's door flew open and she looked at me. "Edward what happened?" she asked but I ignored her as I went to my room. She followed and I threw myself on the bed clutching a pillow.

Alice took a seat at the side of the bed and place a hand on my back.

"She told. Now it's over. "

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****

Aw poor Edward. I feel so bad but I can't wait for the next chapter. It is so much better than this trust me I am already working on it. To prove it I have a sneak peek

**Chapter 10: **_"No Edward move!" she shouted with a horror stricken face. I barely had time to turn my head before I heard a noise that made my stomach clench. And then everything went black._

**Quick facts people**

**1. Carlisle and Esme are the only vampires in this story**

**2. Alice does have visions but she is not a vampire…yet**

**3. Edward can not read minds.**

**That was all just wanted to let you know. Review and I promise to update sooner. Sorry people but I won't be able to update this weekend. Well I don't think I will because I babysit early on Saturday and then later in the evening I'm going to a baptism for my sister's friend and then Sunday my sister is taking me to Six Flags Great America. I can't wait cuz I never been there before. **

**So if I update consider it a miracle. But I'm gonna try to get everything I can between now and Friday and if you want me to update I'm gonna need some reviews. **

**Lots of Love Twilight-Fan-1901**


	10. Betraying Love

**Okay people I give you a chapter update in honor or everyone's favorite 107 year old vampire's birthday!! Happy Birthday Edward Cullen!!** Okay **well I kinda feel bad about this chapter but that is the way the cookie crumbles. I think this will be my last update until after the weekend. I don't think I'll be able to update until Monday but I'll see if I can get anything up tomorrow. Thank you for all my reviews and I love them lots. That is all thank you.**

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BPOV

"How could you do this to me, Bella? I told to stay away from him and you went behind my back anyway. I gave you my trust and now I find you don't deserve it," the words stung. Charlie stood across from me pacing the kitchen as I sat quietly in the kitchen chair while my father scolded me.

"The boy is no good and I will not find you again with him understand," she growled.

"No, dad I don't understand. I don't understand why you want to keep me away from the person I love."

Charlie stood frozen. He stared at me wide eye. "You don't even know what love is. You're too young," he argued.

"Oh so you and mom weren't in love then right. Because as far as I'm concerned you guys were my age when you fell in love," I shot back at him. "And look where we ended up," Charlie said. "Why do you assume I'm going to make the same mistake and get married right out of high school? Don't you think I know better?" I shouted my anger rising.

Charlie just looked at me at a lost for words. "Dad, Edward has done some bad things in his past and he's not proud. But he stopped. He hasn't done those things for over 3 years. If you would stop and get to know him than maybe you wouldn't feel as bad about him," I said trying to reason and keeping my voice softer.

"Bella, they are all the same. They never change. Now just forget about the boy because I'm sure he'll forget about you by tomorrow," Charlie said still not giving up.

"No, he won't because he loves me and I love him," I said tears threatening to spill over.

"Puppy love. You'll get over it," he grumbled.

"Dad this is not some fake teenage love this is the real thing. Either that or I have no idea what it is. But what would you call it dad? What would you call it when your face turns red because he looks at you and your heart beats an unhealthy rhythm because he touched you?

When you can't stop thinking about him and you know he deserves better than you and he still stays with you. When he thinks you deserve so much better than what he gives you and he tells you this over and over and you think he's a fool. When you know you don't have any reason to feel jealous because you know how strong the bond is between you.

"When every single minute away from him feels like hours and hours and hours at a time. When you know that you would take a bullet for that person if you ever had to and you're sure they would do the same. When you know that you want to spend the rest of your life with them no matter what. What would you call that dad? Would you call it puppy love?" I shouted tear already trickling down my cheeks.

Charlie looked away from me and down at the floor. "Bella…I…" but Charlie never finished his sentence because the phone rang. I ran to get it and what I heard on the other line threw my world upside down.

I broke down and began to sob. What I heard was the most horrific thing a person could hear.

EPOV

I sat at a small booth with Alice across from me in a small diner. She had convinced me to talk about it and suggest the Diner. I played around with the hot coffee cup in my hands.

The place was nearly empty. It was open all night the tiny diner and I could tell the waitresses must be bored with the low crowd. Soft music played in the background but I was barely aware of my surroundings.

"Can I get you more coffee?" a sweet voice asked and I looked up to see a girl around her young twenties. She had short black hair and deep blue eyes. I shook my head and she turned to Alice who held out the cup. The waitress poured coffee and walked away.

Alice opened the cream and sugar packets and began to dump it in her coffee.

"Edward I know this is the farthest thing you want to hear right now but maybe it's for the best," Alice said as she stirred her coffee. I looked at her in disbelief. She was not telling me this! Out of all the people in the world to tell me this it was the girl who I least expected to.

"I was thinking the same thing. Alice I can't just forget Bella like that though. I love her. I mean I know you just can't forget Jasper like that would you," I asked trying not to get angry.

Alice shrugged and looked at her coffee. "No I guess I couldn't" she said as she took a sip. I sighed and placed my coffee aside. I didn't want it. I just wanted to see Bella.

The waitress came back over and gave a flirty grin. "Can I get you anything?" she asked and took out her notepad. "I'm not hungry thank you," I said and looked at Alice. "Uh, no I'm fine," Alice mumbled and the waitress nodded as she tucked the notepad away.

"Well if you need anything don't hesitate to call me," she said and gave me a wink as she walked away.

"Edward I don't know what to say really," she said and I was stunned. Alice always knew what to say.

"I just can't believe Esme would do this to me. She even told me right before we left that I could always bring her to the house. It just doesn't make sense," I said and buried my head in my hands.

"Edward…I—"

"I mean just when I thought she was actually the perfect mother. The best mother. The mother a boy with out one would want she goes and does this to me," I babbled.

"Edward, Esme didn't call Charlie," Alice said and her voice shook. I looked up and glared at her afraid of what might come out of her mouth next.

"Then who did" I growled through my teeth.

Alice looked away and at the empty spot next to her and my eyes widened. No she couldn't have done this. No it just wasn't possible.

"Alice please tell me, what I am thinking is totally wrong at the moment," I silently begged. "Edward, I'm so sorry it's just I was—"

"No, Alice I don't want to hear it. First you make me think it was a perfectly innocent women who only wanted the best for me and now you're telling m the one person in the world I could trust just betrayed me," I shouted angry and well aware I was making a scene. "Edward just let me explain, please," Alice begged.

I stood up and dashed out the doors. I heard Alice get up from the table and follow me out.

"Edward wait please," Alice yelled and I turned around to look at her. She was standing on the side walk with tears in her eyes while I stood in the middle if the street.

"Why should I Alice? So you can tell me more horrifying secrets. Was it really that hard for you to see me happy? Was it such a sacrifice for you to just let me be with someone else for a change? Did it hurt you that bad that you just had to hurt me twice as much," I shouted and Alice shook her head tears falling down her face.

"Edward it's not like that. Please just come back inside so I can tell you why and what happened just please," she begged and I felt like caving in. I felt like it but I didn't I just shook my hand and turned around.

"No, Wait Edward please," Alice said and I turned around. She was standing at the edge of the street and it looked like she was trying to concentrate. Then her eyes went wide and she stared at me.

"Edward I need you to come inside, now!" she ordered. "Why should I Alice?" I argued.

"Edward I know what I did was wrong but I need you t come inside now. Please you can yell at me all you want but you have to come inside please," she begged

I stared at her trying to figure out her weird behavior. My anger was still in control and was not letting me moving, not wanting to get any closer to her.

"Please Edward. Trust me when I say that I need you to come inside"

"Trust you? Trust you? Alice I trusted you with my life and you broke it and now your saying to trust you again," I shouted in disbelief.

"Edward you have to trust me with your life now come on," she said and took a step toward me while I took one back. Her eyes went wider than I thought they could and she looked down the rode.

"No Edward move!" she shouted with a horror stricken face. I barely had time to turn my head before I heard a noise that made my stomach clench. And then everything went black.

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**Okay so I don't think people will have trouble figuring out what happened to Edward. Please don't kill me it is just part of the story. I didn't want to do it saying as today was his birthday and all but I had to. So I am so sorry. Anyway like I said I probably won't update until Monday. Sorry about that. Anyway I hoped you like it. Review for me and maybe I'll get one up tomorrow.**

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY EDWARD!!**

**Lots of love Twilight-Fan-1901 **


	11. Authors Note: Please Forgive

**this will no longer affect the story but i wnated to thank everyone for their understanding on the unexpected tradedy that happend on June 21, 2008. **

**sorry and lot of love Twilight-Fan-1901 **

**R.I.P**

**Maria Rodriguez**

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	12. Leaving Behind

**Okay people I just wanted to thank you for being so nice. I have decided to update today because I have the time and everyone's doing a little better. It was hard at first but I know and everyone else does to that she is in a much better place than she was before. Okay so thanks for all the reviews and I hope you like this chapter. Then again you might not. Please forgive me for what I did to Edward on his birthday. **

**Quick note: I have authors note on top and on bottom of my stories. The top ones you can skip but I usually put important stuff on my bottom notes. Anyway I just wanted to let you know. That is all thank you. **

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_BPOV_

"Come on Dad couldn't you drive any faster. Couldn't you put the sirens on or something," I begged in the passenger seat of the car. "No Bella I can't. What is wrong exactly?" he said. "I don't know. Alice just told me he was hurt and in the hospital and by the way she sounded I could tell it was bad now please hurry," I said as tears began to leak down my face.

"Okay I'll try," Charlie said and he began to speed up. When we made it to the hospital I didn't even wait for Charlie to park. I dashed out the door and ran inside. I hated going to the ER but sad to say I knew it very well.

I went straight to the receptionist and she looked up confused. "Can I help you?" she asked in what seemed to be a bored tone. "I need to see Edward Masen," I said as my fingers began to thrum against the counter.

She began to type on her computer when I heard a voice call my name. "Bella over here," I turned to see Alice. She came toward me and took my hand and then turned to the receptionist. "She's with me," she told the tired looking lady and dragged me along.

"You can't see him right now," Alice said and I could see her cheeks were tear stained. "Alice what happened?" I asked frantic now. "Bella," she whispered and began to shake her head slowly as she led me into the waiting room.

Esme was sitting in a chair curled up and hugging her knees. Jasper was sitting in a chair head buried in his hands. I suspected the two others were Emmett and Rosalie.

Rosalie was sitting in a chair and tears spilled down her cheeks. Emmett looked in pain as he sat hunched in the chair.

I sat down and looked at Alice. "Bella, Edward and I were at a diner earlier tonight and we got into a fight. He stormed out of the restaurant and onto the street. We were arguing and then he was…" she couldn't finish because she began to sob and I knew exactly what happened. "No Alice, please tell me you're lying please," I pleaded as tears continued to leaked down my face.

"I wish I was," she said and I began to sob even more. My shoulders shook and I couldn't breathe. I heard Esme come toward me and wrap her arms around my shoulders. I leaned into her and cried on her shirt.

Then something seemed to click. I pulled away from Esme and took Alice's hand and pulled her up. She looked at me curiously but I didn't meet her look back. I took her out of the waiting room and into the hall where we wouldn't be heard.

"That's what you saw wasn't it? Earlier today when I was at your house. That was what you saw in your vision. You saw Edward get hit," I said angrily. Alice nodded and looked away from me.

"We were on the rode when I saw it. I remembered the background and I had a feeling of déjà vu. I knew what was going to happen and I tried to drag him out but I couldn't. He didn't want to be near me," she said and tears continued to slip down her face.

"What were you fighting about," I said and rubbed my forehead. Some how I already knew. "I was the one who called Charlie on you and told him where to find you," she whispered and looked down ashamed.

"Because you saw Edward get hit and you thought it would be better if we weren't together right. If that even happened because I'm sure you were going to do your best to prevent it, but just incase you slipped. You didn't want us to be twice as hurt right? But now you realize that your own actions cause this to happen," I told her and she looked wide eyed at me.

"I didn't mean for this to happen but yeah you have it right," she said and turned away from me. I grabbed her shoulder and turned her around. "How is he right now?" I asked and she closed her eyes. "He's lost a lot of blood, Bella. He's unconscious right now. Carlisle is tending to him right now, but it doesn't look to good for him Bella," she said and I nodded as I began to sob again. She wrapped me in a hug and I hugged her back. I heard someone clear their throat and i turned to see a very young looking doctor standing next to us.

He was amazingly beautiful and extremly pale. A color that didn't look so healthy. "Carlisle how is he doing," Alice asked and her eyes were wide and tear-filled.

Carlisle's face turned to one of grief and he shook his head. "Not so good at all," he said and then glanced over at me. "Who may you be?" he asked and I came back to my senses. "Bella Swan," I said and extended my hand toward him. He shook it and I was surprised it was just as cold as Esme's had been. "Well I'm sorry we have to meet under these circumstances. I'm Carlisle Cullen," he said. I nodded and I asked a question I didn't think I was brave enough to ask.

"Can I see him?"

"Well I suppose so but I have to warn you he's not at his best at the moment," Carlisle told me and I felt Alice take hold of my hand. "Can we see him Carlisle," Alice asked again and Carlisle turned around and began to lead us to his room. He stopped in front of a door and I could tell this was where Edward was in. I gulped and Alice opened the door slowly as we made it into the dim room. There were machine's everywhere and I heard a loud and slow beeping noise. I looked to see the pattern of Edward's heart. It was slow, too slow to be any healthy.

I hugged myself as I finally made it to his bedside. He was attached to so many machines and bruises plastered his face. I could only imagine how the rest of him was and I suddenly hated myself for having such a vivid imagination.

He looked peaceful and careless. An expression I had never really got to see on him. Slowly I stroked his hair and began to cry. "Please don't leave me," I whispered and took hold of his hand careful with the IV. "Please," I begged as tears continued down my cheeks.

_APOV _(ooh here's a first but what do you expect. You want to know what's going on right?)

Bella walked into the small room and I closed the door behind her. She needed privacy with him and it was the least I could give her.

I turned toward Carlisle and he looked like he wanted to cry. If he could at least.

"What are you planning on doing?" I asked and he looked at me shocked. "Oh come off it. We both know his chances of survival are slim. It's lucky the car didn't kill him immediately. He's still alive but who knows how much longer. I know you can't really say for sure but you know he slipped into a coma. I am not going to stand here and watch my brother die so I know you have something planned," I said angry now.

"Alice I can't do that to him I just I can't," he said and ran a hand through his golden blonde hair. "No so you're just going to watch him die. You're going to let him die a seventeen year old boy who had his whole future ahead of him when you know you can save him," I growled trying desperately not to shout.

Carlisle placed a hand on his forehead and sighed. "You really want to do this to him," he said and I nodded. "Why not? Jasper and I are going to go through with it too," I told him the first time mentioning Jasper. "When was Jasper included in your plans," he asked and I shrugged.

"I explained everything to Jasper and he said he was coming with me," I told him and Carlisle's eyes widened. "What if he would have said he didn't want to be one of us then what would you have done? Alice you have to understand this must stay a secret." Carlisle told me and I rolled my eyes.

"If he would have said that then I would say I was just kidding and that would be the end of it. Besides I knew Jasper was going to join me," I said and leaned my back against the wall.

"Alice are you sure you want this," he asked with sad eyes and I nodded. "Yes absolutely. Besides the choice is already made for me. I'm not going to let Edward die and I'm following him where ever he decides to go," I said and he nodded.

The door opened and Bella came out. Her eyes were red from crying and she looked tired. "Come on let's go back to the waiting room," I told her and placed my hand on the small of her back. She nodded and let me lead the way.

We made our way back to my family and I sat on a chair next to Bella. She rested her head on my shoulder and I could see her eyes flutter. She was tired and needed her sleep. I played with her long dark hair and watched as her breathing grew slower and steadier.

My only regret was Bella. I could tell she loved him and she wouldn't ever see him again. Edward would probably hate me for the rest of his life, which as far as I was concerned, was forever.

I couldn't understand Bella. She didn't show hate or disgust with me like she should have. Like I deserved. She just showed understanding and I could tell why Edward had fallen in love with her. And what a pick he made.

It was just too bad that he was going to have to leave her behind.

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**Okay one of my shorter chapters. Sorry but with all that happened this weekend and stuff. Anyway I hope you liked this chapter and I hoped it explained a bit more on what was going on and the reason for that is...my story is coming to an end. Yes I know sad but I was planning on doing a sequel, but that depends on my review response. I can't say for sure how many chapters I have planned for this story but it's not much. Anyway review for me and you get a faster update.**

**Again I'm one of those girls who just doesn't like to break promises so review.**

**Lots of love Twilight-Fan-1901 **


	13. Truely Dead

**Okay well I just wanted to thank you yet again for the lovely reviews I have. I am like so happy that people actually like my story and I never expected this to get so out of hand. As some of you may have noticed I changed my pen name to Twilightholic-Tanya because I just wasn't happy with my old pen name. Anyway I hope you like this chapter and review for me. That is all thank-you.**

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If I had known this would be my punishment for all the wrong things I had ever done I would have became a saint. The pain I felt course through my body was unbearable. It felt as though I had lit on fire from the inside.

Couldn't death take me already? Did I have to suffer through this? The pain was diming slightly. I had been worse before but I felt it slowing and I kept my eyes closed tight. How much longer did I have to suffer this? It had felt like weeks, but I couldn't be sure how much time had passed.

Finally I felt my body calm and I couldn't detect anymore pain, but I lay still, not wanting to move afraid that I would cause it to stir up again. Was I finally free?

"Is he okay Carlisle?" I heard a soft voice asked. "Yes, just let him awaken at his own time," I heard calming reassuring voice of Carlisle.

_I hope your right_ said the soft voice.

I opened my eyes slowly to find myself in a room unknown to me. It was dark I could see that but everything was clear in my vision. I could see everything as though the sun were in the room. I couldn't detect any windows or any light at all for that matter. I rose slowly from the bed I was on and looked around the room.

_Oh, I'm going to miss his eyes,_ I turned to see Esme standing against the wall and Carlisle standing next to her. "Why does my throat burn?" I asked finding nothing else to say. My throat was almost painful in the intense fire it felt. _He's already thirsty_ I looked at Carlisle and but he lips didn't move. "I'm what?" I asked my voice rising just a bit. Carlisle's eyes widened and he looked me over. "I didn't say anything," he told me and I shook my head.

_I think it's time I start explaining to him,_ I heard Carlisle say and my head once again snapped to him. "Yes please do so," I said and his eyes widened yet again. "Edward I haven't said anything," he told me.

"Yes you did. You just said 'I think its time I start explaining to him' I heard you say it clear as a bell," I argued and Carlisle shook his head.

"I thought that I didn't say it," Carlisle responded and I laughed a humorless laugh. "Right so you're telling me I can read thoughts," I said questioning his sanity.

_I don't know can you?_

"No I can't it's impossible," I said and rolled my eyes.

_The why did you just answer my thought?_

I looked at him and my eyes went wide. "Okay, then Carlisle explain to me why I can read your thoughts and Esme's, why I can see you even though this room is pitch black, why I feel as though my throat is on fire and why my senses have suddenly came into overtime?!" I shouted and stood from the bed.

_Well at least his temper hasn't changed_ I heard Esme sigh and snapped my head toward her. "Did you hear that?" she asked sheepishly and I nodded. "Sorry" she mumbled and looked away.

I turned back to Carlisle and he took a deep breath.

"Tell me Edward what's the last thing you remember?"

I closed my eyes and tried to remember back. I had been lying on the grass next to Bella and we were talking about our future. Then her father came and took her away. I yelled at Esme for telling but I had a talk with Alice where she told me she had called Charlie. I was enraged with her and stormed out of the diner we were in. Then she was yelling at me to get off the road but I didn't listen. I heard the sound of a car horn and a saw the headlights. I felt a sickening pain then it went black. Then I woke up here.

"I'm sorry for wrongly accusing you Esme. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions," I said and looked at her. Her golden eyes were sad and she nodded. "So you remember what happened that night?" Carlisle asked and suddenly I looked down at my body. Why was I able to walk and stand? Why wasn't I covered in casts and bruises? Why wasn't I dead?

"Carlisle what happened to me?" I asked as I stared at my hands.

"Edward I need you to stay calm when I tell you this," he warned and I sat back on the bed. "Do you remember the vision Alice had? The one where I came in the room?" he asked and I nodded.

"Do you remember what she told you about the vision?"

"She had told me that you were vampires and that you had changed me into one of yous," I said and shook my head at the impossibility at such a thing. I looked up at his eyes and noticed they were very serious. I could not detect a bit of humor in them.

I laughed in disbelief. "You're not telling me it came true are you? You're not telling me I'm some kind of blood sucking leech?" I said and my eyes grew wide as I could see he was not kidding. "I am not! Those are just fictional creatures! _(Don't we all wish they weren't)_" I shouted getting panicked,

"Edward you're throat feels like it's on fire, but what do you want to soothe it? Do you want water or is there another taste for you?" he asked and I concentrated. No I didn't want water. I didn't want any food what so ever! I wanted something else. Something so much sweeter and something that disgusted me at the same time.

"I want blood," I said and stood frozen at the words that had just come out of my mouth.

"No I won't be a monster. I refuse to take a life!" I shouted and heard Esme's thoughts.

_You don't have to be one Edward, there is another solution,_

"What is it then?" I asked at I stared at them. "Well you can always feed on animals. It's not as sweet but if you never get a taste for human blood then you'll never know what exactly you're missing," Carlisle said and I could not believe what I was hearing.

"Why did you do this to me? I never asked for this I never wanted it," I said through my teeth as I tried to calm myself.

"It was either I change you or let you die," Carlisle said and looked away from my eyes.

"You were going to do this to Alice weren't you?" I asked suddenly understanding the weird conversation I had overheard. "Esme why don't you go check on her, while I finish explaining to Edward," I heard Carlisle mumble in a speed.

Esme nodded and there was a sudden burst of light into the room and then it was gone.

"Could you please put some light in here," I asked frustrated and the room was lit. I was right I had never entered this room before. It was large and square and the walls were made of brick. The floor was concrete and there were absolutely no windows. I was a dungeon to say the least.

"Where am I?" I asked as I looked around. "Not far from the house. Maybe a couple miles away," Carlisle said.

"So I take it you already did… _this_ to Alice?" I said finding the only reasoning on why he would have sent Esme to check on her.

As I studied my hands I realized they were white. A color that resembled death. I placed a hand to my chest and I could not find my heart beat. It wasn't there. I looked up at Carlisle and asked, "What exactly happened to me?"

He sighed and began to tell me everything there was to know about what we were.

_(Okay so I figure if you're reading this you've already read twilight like a million times so you should know everything there is to know about twilight vampires and I could just skip that. Anyway same thing with all the twilight vampires. If something is different I'll let you know)_

"I don't know whether to be angry at you for doing this to me or owe you my life for saving it," I said once he had finished explaining. He placed his hand on top of mind and I looked up.

"It really isn't that bad once you get use t it. I didn't want to let you go," he told me and I understood. I could almost feel his emotions and the true sincerity in his thoughts. I could see that he really did love me as a son. A love that had always been unknown to me.

The door opened yet again and Esme walked in followed by…Alice?

She was Alice but she was different. Her skin was white as snow and she was extremely beautiful. Alice had always had her looks for he but this was different.

I stared at her shocked and when she looked at me; my heart would have stopped completely if it had still been going. Her eyes were red. Crimson red. They were a color so frightening and yet very alluring.

Carlisle had explained about it and I looked away from her. I knew my eyes were no longer the green they once were but the same color as Alice's. I would missed Alice's golden brown eyes.

_Oh, Edward I'm so sorry,_

"It's alright Alice I forgive you," I told her and looked up to examine her face. Her eyes were sad and shocked at the same time.

"W-What?" she stuttered.

"I don't know why or how but I can hear your thoughts, read minds or something," I stated not wanting to explain anymore.

Alice nodded and then froze. Her eyes glazing over and suddenly I saw what she saw.

Bella.

She was sitting down reading a letter and crying. Then the illusion was gone. "What was that?" I asked her.

"I think it was a vision, but it came so quick and I couldn't be sure," she said and shook her head. "What was Bella reading?" I asked wanting to know what caused tears to stream down her face.

"I don't know," she said and looked scared. "I have to see her," I said and made my way to the door but was caught in another one of Alice's vision. Bella's face was pale and unmoving and I was yet again a monster.

"Please tell me I didn't just…" but I couldn't say the word. I was too afraid to even think it.

"Edward I'm afraid you'll never be able to see Bella again," Carlisle said.

It was then that I knew I was truly dead.

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**Okay doesn't sound so good but if I don't make a happy ending for this story I will write a sequel. Okay so tell me what you think of it so far and please don't give up on me. I promise this will all come out to a happy ending. Anyway review for me and I'll get the next chapter up as soon as possible. Maybe not tomorrow because I have to go to a funeral but I'll see. Please review and tell me what you think.**

**Sorry if I have any grammar or spelling mistakes but I'm in a hurry to get this out. **

**Lots of love, Twilightholic-Tanya **

**(use to be Twilight-Fan-1901 but not any more)**


	14. Happily Ever After

**Oh my god I am beyond happy. I have 200 reviews for this story. That is way more than I expected. Thank you all for reading my story and I have a very important announcement.**

**IMPORTANT: this will be the last chapter.**

**That is all thank you.**

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_EPOV_

"What do you mean I can't see her anymore," I shouted as I turned on my heel to look at Carlisle. "Edward, you're a new born vampire. If you see her chances are you won't be able to resist and you may kill her."

The words knocked the breath out of me.

"No, I won't do that to her," I said but I knew that in the back of my mind the chances were very high.

"Edward, I'm so sorry," Alice said as she placed a hand on my shoulder. I shook her off and opened the door. It was funny because it seemed like it would at least take 5 men to open but it only took me a flick of the wrist

I walked out the room and to a long narrow hallway. I had no idea where I was but then I caught something.

It smelled sweet and powerful and my throat burned even more. I followed my senses to where the smell led and I was outside. Thick heavy trees surrounded me but did not throw off the smell. It was still there.

I followed and I was surprised at how fast I was running. I had never felt anything like this before and I loved it.

I came across a deer and then everything seemed to change. My senses went wild and my throat burned. Then I attacked. I happened all too fast by the time I had realized what had happened the deer was dead in my arms and my throat was calmed. I touched my hand to my lips to find blood.

I stared at my hand horrified at what I had just done. _Imagine smelling that again a hundred times stronger_ I heard Carlisle's thoughts and looked up to find him leaning against a tree trunk.

"I couldn't resist. I smelled the blood and I wanted it. So much more than I wanted anything before," I said trying to explain to him. "It will always be like that but soon you'll learn to control yourself. It's okay you followed on instinct and it was natural. But if you care for Bella you will stay away from her," he told me and I looked down at the lifeless deer in my hand.

If I went to see Bella, will I be holding her in my arms like this too? Lifeless and pale with her blood on my lips?

I couldn't bear the thought. I cringed away from it and nodded. "I will," I said and my heart was fully broken to remain like that for all eternity.

It was a good thing to because what I was about to do next would have surely killed me.

BPOV

I walked into the house mail in my hands. I threw my keys on the kitchen table as I took a seat. I hadn't heard anything from Alice for a week now and I was beginning to get worried. She promised she would keep me updated on how Edward was doing but so far I hadn't heard anything.

I skimmed through the mail noticing they were all just bills. Then something caught my eye. It was a plain white envelope with my name scribbled in pen on top of it.

That was it just my name. It had no stamp, no return address, not even my address. So that meant it was delivered personally. I looked at the envelope and flipped it over in my hands over and over again.

Something inside me told me I didn't want to open it but I ignored it and tore it open. Inside was a folded up piece of paper. I eyed it and began to unfold it.

It was a letter written in beautiful neat handwriting.

As I read the letter I began to cry. My eyes fogged which made it hard to finish and by the time I was done the paper was tear soaked.

I knew it. This was just too good to be true. I crumpled the letter and threw it away. I would be happy if I never had to see the heartbreaking liar again.

He was nothing but a lie.

As much as I wanted to believe that I hated him I couldn't. Somehow I knew this couldn't be true and maybe one day I would be able to confront him. Maybe I would see him again and learn the reason behind my broken heart.

Maybe that was the reason I went back and picked up the letter from the trash.

EPOV

"You ready Edward," Alice asked.

"Do you think she'll understand? Maybe one of theses days?" I asked knowing if anyone knew the answer to it would be her. "Maybe, someday," she said and I smiled a sad smile.

"I don't think Jasper likes his new 'power,'" Alice chuckled using air quotes. Jasper had the ability to feel your emotions and change your own. I chuckled knowing he mustn't be too happy with me.

Rose and Emmett did join us surprisingly. We were there only family and they didn't want to let us go. "Where are we even headed anyway?" I asked her and she shrugged.

"I have no idea, I guess well just have to wait and see. I'm not psychic you know" she said with a wink and walked away leaving me alone in the thick forests.

The letter was the hardest thing I had ever had to do. And to watch Carlisle deliver it for me nearly cause me to collapse in pain and Bella wouldn't even know that. She wouldn't even know how much I still loved her and always would. She would always be my first and only love and that would never change.

Hopefully one of these days she would understand and maybe I would see her again. Maybe I would get to tell her how much I loved her and hold her again.

Yeah, and maybe my heart would beat again. It was never going to happen. I walked away from the sunless little town that would always hold my true moment of happiness and toward my family.

I had finally had one in the end, but I lost my love. I guess you just really couldn't have your cake and eat it too.

I guess life just wasn't meant to end in happily ever after.

_Bella,_

_I cannot deny the joy and happiness you brought to my life. You made me see in a whole new way and you taught me that it was okay to be loved and love others. But there was a reason I never wanted to let you in my life and it was because I was sure I was going to bring you pain. I could handle all the pain in the world but for me to bring such a person as you pain well it makes me a monster._

_I know I said I wouldn't leave you but I guess I just lied, for it has come for me to go. You may hate me for years to come and I wouldn't expect you to forgive me but I am sorry. I played with your emotions. I guess it was just puppy love for me and I'm sorry if it was something so much stronger to you._

_I will not ask you to remember me, because I wouldn't want you to. You may feel pain and hurt at first but you'll move on and get over me. You'll find another love and they'll love you back with something so much stronger than what I had for you. Trust me when I say you will be loved, someday. _

_I'm sorry I will never be there for you and I'm sorry I will never be able to see the family that we once talked about. But you will share a future with somebody out there and they will be the luckiest man in the world to have the love of a person as special as you. Most importantly they will deserve your love more than I ever did. _

_In the end I guess I never should have met you. I never should have leaded you on and I never should have told you I loved you. But as much as I should I will never regret those things. I hope someday you'll understand this and learn not to hate me but I'll understand if you don't. Rest assured that I am healing well and will live. Be safe, Bella, for me for Charlie. I truly am sorry. _

_Sincerely, Edward_

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**Okay people don't kill me okay because this story is going to end on a happy note but it will be in the sequel. Yes I am doing a sequel to this story and I will let you know when it is up. I promise to get it up as soon as I can but let me look into the plot line a little bit. Review and tell me how you liked the end of the story.**

**Lots of love Twilightholic-Tanya **


	15. It Is Up!

**YES!! The sequel is up and running. Everyone better love me because i was going to take a break from writing but i just had to post the sequel because it would not let me go to sleep. i kept getting all these new ideas for the story so...go take a look at Maybe You Should!**

**i hope everyone will like it and thanks for all the lovely reviews. **

**Sneak Peek:**

_It was truly her. The girl that had haunted me ever since I left. The girl whose last words to me were 'I love you' and all I could do was stare while she laughed and held on to the arm of the man she walked in with. He smiled and pushed her hair away from her face. She looked at him and I could detect happiness. He wrapped and arm around her waist and she scooted closer to his side. Who was he?_

**you have to read Maybe You should to find out!**

**lots of love Twilightholic-Tanya**

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